A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's the thing. I had my boyfriend of nine months. Well about 2 months ago I started noticing little things/clues that were telling me that he was talking to another girl, like a text every so often and he would say it was this app that he has on his phone. Then the last time he got a call and acted like he couldn't hear who was at the other end. Happend various times. Everything was locked password protected for me at his house, 2 laptops, phone and he would lock himself in the bathroom with his phone.Anyways, the last time he got a phone call, he acted like he couldn't hear again. This time I couldn't talke it and I immediately left his house. He went behind me but I just didn't want to talk to him, so I left.The next day he texted and asked me if I was ok. I told him that I was sad because he was cheating on me. He said I did not do anything and things like that denying it. After that he texted me and I didn't answer because I was still upset. His next text said "okay, adios, don't talk to me anymore, you are just like all females, you lie, you cheat and you steal." I was like, what? Why is he acting like this? I don't understand why, he's making me feel guilty. Then he also dropped off some of my clothes that I had in his house, at my door.I don't know, now I'm the guilty one, not sure why he's turned it around for me like that.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Drop his stuff off outside, ring the door bell and walk away. Resist the urge to talk to him.
What he did was wrong, twice the wrong.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Resist the temptation. Have absolutely no contact. Maintain an air of mystery. Before long he'll start wondering how you are and what you're doing. Don't be surprised when he comes sniffing around again. Don't take him back of course, just be prepared.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for all your comments. Its really really helpful when you're feeling down and there's people like you that give encouragement and strength to keep on going and not think of the bad things that happened with somebody that you love.
Thank you Thank you Thank you :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know this is not going to sound good but I feel like seeing him, really really bad. What do I do? I was planning on going to drop off some stuff that he bought me and leaving him a letter wishing him good.
What to do, what to do? :(
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 My so called ex did that to me before I ever found out he was cheating. They try to make you out to be the bad guy so they don't have to admit to themselves that they are scum. You are better off without him, even though it may not feel that way right now. Just remember you are a wonderful and special person and he is simply a waste of time. He is only trying to make you feel bad so he can convince himself that he is justified in being a creep. I'm sorry that you have gone through this I know how hard it is.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (26 September 2011):
When my ex cheated on me...totally turned it around on me. I hadn't found out yet but I was being blamed for cheating from whatever he was pulling out of thin air. I thought he was crazy, but turns out he was the cheater.
What your boyfriend is just projecting what he actually is...which is a cheater, liar, and a thief...which you aren't. So basically, he's a dumbass. You haven't done anything wrong.
You caught him--letting him go will be the BEST thing you ever do. He won't change and you'll keep feeling like this.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (26 September 2011):
You've heard the expression 'the best defense is a good offense'. This is it in action. He's using guilt to draw your attention away from what he's been doing. And it's working isn't it? While you're busy feeling guilty you aren't paying much attention to his actions.
I, too, think he was cheating. Besides the suspicious phone calls and the way he guarded his cell phone and computers, there is the ease with which he let you go and his rather tell tale comment about all women being liars and cheats.
Please don't fall for this. This tactic is as old as time itself. HE was in the wrong, not you.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Sounds like he must've decided the girl he was texting from the bathroom was the one he really wanted. You just made it easy on him. Of course, he'd never admit it, and by turning the tables you somehow feel this is your fault. Gotta give him credit, he's a cheater and pretty good at manipulating women's feelings. Leave the loser. He's not worth it. I think he did you a favor.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2011):
You caught him redhanded, he isn't man enough to own his own actions (the flirting/cheating) so he best defense is an offense.. to attack you. To make YOU the bad guy.
He's an immature douchebag and honestly, you need to stop feeling guilty. The cheating is ALL on him.
Be glad you are rid of him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 September 2011):
 He'll act like that as long as YOU let him get away with it..... No guy is "worth" the angst that you described for yourself in this submittal.....
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