A
male
age
41-50,
*azzir
writes:My lady and myself are engaged in a heated battle so I left and found this site while trying to remain cool. I love my lady but at times she acts as though she doesn't have a clue. My lady is bowlegged and it is very noticeable. Is it appropriate for a man to ask a woman if she is bowlegged while at work when it is in plain view? Then later state,"bowlegged women turn me on." To me, that is totally inappropriate...especially in the workplace. She and I do not work together. In addition, she told the man that she had somebody special in her life and the man still asked he to go out with him after their first meeting. Lady still indulged in conversation with him like it was all good. I respect the fact that she would tell me about her day but it seems a though she feels that everything was just a part of her day. I'm not worried out feelthreatened but I feel like she should have removed herself from the equation to avoid any problems at work...also she wouldn't like it if I did the same thing as the guy to another woman. She thinks that the conversation was merely socializing while at work and that her behavior is exceptable while involved in a relationship. What would be a good way to handle this situation for me and her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (22 February 2012):
 He was being inappropriate by being so forward and crass to her, but she told him politely and respectfully that she was taken. That shows a lot of class.
She should be a little miffed that he was so disrespectful, but these days so many women are disrespected so often that we really do become numb to it and completely forget to demand respect.
Often times, women like myself who have a "zero tolerance" policy for disrespect often get called things like "ball breaker" and "bitch" and "ice queen", but you're damn well sure NO ONE is crass and sexually inappropriate with me again. A woman has to learn to respect herself and demand respect from people who have never learned how to talk to a lady like a gentleman.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 For you.. please go and apologise to the lady for your controlling behaviour. You have no right to monitor who she talks to and demand she act just like you want her to, she is not a toy or a doll.For her, the man she is speaking to is rude and ill-mannered. But considering she is at work and has to maintain a professional working relationship, her actions are understandable. She has informed him she is in a relationship, She has turned down his offer for a date. She isn't a rude person, so she continues to indulge in unimportant chit chat. I see no advice to give her at all. Continue to ignore any attempts and flirting and treat him like you treat everybody else.For the guy. He is not controllable, he can do as he likes. If he wants to chase after a woman who is not interested, go ahead, let him make a fool of himself. If he becomes out of order, in language or attempts to touch, I suggest the lady report him to management in the first instance, and if this is not dealt with, or it happens again, I suggest she get a lawyer and sue for sexual harassment.Also as a note, if her male partner keeps trying to bully her and tell her what to do, she really should consider if this relationship is working. Demanding men who want to control, is a red flag for possible abuse.
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