A
female
age
30-35,
*nonem
writes:Is it appropraite for a guy to bring two of his friends on a first date with a girl? I met a guy for the first time on a proper date and he brought two of his male friends like a group date. I told him off straight. I am so angry. Is this even right in the first place. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2015): No, on so many levels, no. It shows immaturity for one thing - like a schoolboy who can't cope unless his friends are there too. And it shows a deep insensitivity to you - how on earth did he expect you to react to three men, rather than just him by himself? It also just shows a plain lack of awareness for social etiquette, on top of the insensitivity to you as a woman - it's just not the done thing, unless the person is made completely aware beforehand and/or asked if they would like to bring a couple of friends too eg. "I was going to go to XYZ bar with a couple of my mates on Friday and wondered if you and a couple of your friends would like to join us?". No wonder you are angry. Don't waste any more time with him, just don't see him again and DO NOT fall into the trap of explaining to him how to behave. If he's like this at the beginning then you will end up being his mother, showing him how to practice having a girlfriends until he gets it right and moves onto another woman who thinks he's great because he knows how to treat a woman!!!
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 August 2015):
 Nope. Having your mates tag along on dates (unless they're pre-arranged as double dates for example), especially a first date is very tacky, immature and rather unsettling to the date, particularly a woman, to be outnumbered by a guy and his buddies.
I also recommend you not make your first date at a bar. A proper restaurant is better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2015): I went on a first date with a guy once and he brought his two younger brothers along with him! So funny - it was as if he needed a back up plan in case it went wrong. I think your guy put his needs before yours and is pretty immature. I would have been insulted. Do you want to date a guy who doesn't know how to treat you properly? How many chances do you want to give him? I believe people show you who they are early on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 August 2015):
 unless it was discussed before the date and agreed to by both parties then NO showing up with friends in tow is not cool....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2015): hi, and no is the answer. This isn't on at all, you have every right to be angry and actually if I went for a date with a guy and he showed up with two male friends, I'd leave immediately and ensure I wasn't followed! that sounds potentially very odd and Scarry. Best to have a wing man or woman yourself chick, if you don't know the guy you are meeting. obvious stuff like meeting in a public place, don't give him your address etc, and have your wing person know where you are going to be and you text them so hey know you are safe ?
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A
male
reader, mfj78  +, writes (14 August 2015):
I used to do internet dating and once had a woman ask me on a first date at a birthday party with her mates in a club. No way was I going to stand around like a fool not knowing anyone as they partied and the "date" divided her time between me and everyone else.
Its more common for a woman to bring a friend on a first date, just in case the guy turns out to be jack the ripper, but for men to do that is a bit weird I think.
He probably wanted his mates to know he was seeing a good looking girl and show you off! Bad move.
You must have felt intimidated sat with three men. Rubbish!
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2015): Really?! On the FIRST date?! Did he want a gang bang or something? Yes it is weird. I hope you told them where to go!
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A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (14 August 2015):
anonem is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you honeypie. It was first a meeting at a bar then dinner and more drinks.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 August 2015):
 I think a group date is fine for a first date, BUT for him to show up with TWO male friends without telling you first? No. Not OK.
It sounds like he was either worried of being "catfished" or he wanted to make sure he had a "way out" if he didn't "click" with you.
What kind of date was it? If it was out for a dinner/lunch or coffee, then ABSOLUTELY no friends along. I mean THEY can go sit somewhere else and hang out, but the whole point would be for you two to get to know each other, NOT for you to get to know him AND 2 of his friends.
If it was for a pool & beer or minigolf, I would tend to say it's would be less "bad" as it can be fun with more people.
However.... I still think he should have TOLD you ahead of time, that way YOU could have said no thanks OR brought a friend of your own with you.
I'm guess you are not talking to him any more?
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