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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My society and culture sets high standards in terms of way a person looks in order to be considered acceptable to relate with some kind of people, especially those who belong to high society or have good social reputation. As if, it were all about looks. Is this really the case? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 It looks like you wrote back but some how it didn't post correctly as a followup....send me a private email and we can discuss further. Some of what you said confused me and I want to make sure I am understanding you correctly as far as these dreams you talk about. It also sounds as though you might need to break away a bit....but you shouldn't be focused on negative things, it should be all positive things....that's where you got me! :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): basically my frustration about the way things work has to do with the fact that i have not found many people who would appreciate my feelings or the inner world (of dreams) that are far drifted from the reality. However, without this dreams i have, as i value them more than myself (it is a way of escaping from the frustrations of day to day hassles), if someone doesn't understand them or appreciate them atleast, my heart sort of closes down for them and they have no space in my life. Is it normal to have such a stubborn criteria, expectation from others to relate with me? I feel depressed and i want to have someone share this negative emotions with me so that i do not feel lonely and left out / neglected. I need someone who is really / genuinely interest in knowing me, the sad part of it is, there are not many who have enough time and interest, no matter how hard i try to impress others. They just find me to be boring and stereotype, but i am scared to break out of this image for the fear that i may lose the support of my family members and wouldn't find anyone to empathize with the problems i may face.. I am confused whether to stick on my old role, i am comfortable with or have some courage and break out ?...
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (22 June 2007):
In most cases...yes. Let's start with a job...if you went to work at the corporate location of some big wheel company and the CEO, President and all Senior officals were there and all dressed in their professional suits and then you walk in wearing "just" normal pants and a "regular" shirt...do you think they are going to notice you if you want up the corporate ladder? Sucks I know, but it's the truth. Thing is, what if you can't afford to buy the big suit and tie, what do you do? My answer is just dress the best you can with what you can afford. Always look as nice as you can. Then there's the girl who is looking ONLY for the guy who dresses with all the name brands and drives the fancy car and brings home the big bucks. And he better look like GQ or forget it. The way to really tell about a person you are with to see what THEY are all about is just be yourself,take care of yourself, but know where the line is. In the long run, we all want to be ourselves with everyone and we want to be accepted by everyone. So either they accept you or they don't and IF they don't, then this tells me to move on...they wouldn't be worth getting involved with as a friend or other.
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A
female
reader, Donnatella  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that your appearance doesnt matter. It does but, it is not the most vital part of your being. Your appearance is just another way of expressing your feeling and thoughts. Like in any social situation if people share your swense of style and ideas you will find they are much more open to your other thoughts and even friendship. If you are comefortable with yourself people will be comefortable with you.
Remember it only takes one of these "high society" types to make you acceptable.
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A
female
reader, angelica111  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Hi there!
Looks are very important, ALAS, to most of people and firms in our society. At first sight that's what we humans are prone to be aware of.
But when it comes to relating w/ s/one on a one one basis, there is much more to it. The way one talks and about what, body language, smell and mouvemnts, smoking, ticks and so on.. There's a whole range of things and chemistry we can't even see but just "feel" instinctively when being together w/ a person. Your looks should just be your 'visitors card' in order to get 'in touch' w/ the person you would like to talk w/ and so on.
Personalize your way of looking (don't change constantly to please your environement) and especially stay natural to how you are and speak. Or the way you express your thoughts.
Hope this was of some help, Take care, angelica
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