A
female
age
26-29,
*orrely
writes:My ex and I dated for a year, we're both 15, and he was the first guy I really cared about. We promised to stay friends after we broke up, but we haven't spoken in weeks. We broke up two months ago and sometimes I really miss him and wish we were still friends. He already has a new girlfriend, which makes me feel rather pathetic. Also, to make things worse, at this party two weeks ago he hooked up (just kissing) with my friend. Which, honestly, really upset me.Is it abnormal that I'm having trouble moving on? Is there anything I can do to help myself move on?Thank you, any advice will be appreciated :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): it's absolutely normal to feel so low after breaking up with someone - especially if you feel powerless to do anything about it. it doesn't matter how old you are, or who you are. People's suffering is always to do with experiencing things they have no control over - and that's what's happening to you, and it's made worse when you see him with other people. my advice to you would be: although it's not what you want to do, the best thing you can possibly do is to not contact him, and to remind yourself every day that this is someone who has, for whatever reason, hurt you, and therefore does not deserve your continuing thoughts and emotions. You are fabulous, and sooner or later someone else will be very glad you broke up with him - someone who cares, and shows you they care in their interest in you, and their respect for you.
it is never a good idea to show someone who has left you, for whatever reason, that you are desperate or sad - and you probably know that inside yourself. It won't make any difference to how they feel, and you'll be far more back in control if you maintain a dignified silence.
Your heart and mind have to go through a grieving process, because your emotions were engaged, and that is what will cause you to keep thinking and feeling hurt for some time to come. But just remember that IT WILL PASS - I promise you, it will. In the future, make sure you really weigh up someone before giving your emotions to them - are they just wanting to jump straight in, or are they prepared to wait and build a relationship? it's the best test and, believe me, it's up to the girl to set those limits. otherwise, you lay yourself open to guys who just want to play around.
don't feel too bad about this - everyone goes through it, and it will help you to grow! believe in yourself, and understand that YOU can set the agenda. good luck, hope you heal as quickly as you can x
A
female
reader, AlwaysHereToHelp!  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Hello :)
No it is not abnormal haveing trouble moveing on and tbh alot of people have these kind of problems too so dont feel like your alone.
When i broke up with my bestfriend who was the first person who i loved even know i never had any courage to ask him out, i missed him for ages.
So i know how you feel but the trick is just to try and forget and move on, you may still have feelings for him but now its ovbious he has moved on and you need to do the same aswell.
Let him go try not to think about him get some hobbies to take your mind off things maybe even get some new friends or join a group soo you can get introduced to some new people. go to partys or concerts they are always a good way to make new friends. as time goes on you are sure to forget about him, and if your lucky you might find someone else who you love :)
And this friend who got with your ex. you should let her go especially if she new that you were finding it hard friends like that are normanlly the ones who hold you back
Hope this helps x
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