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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is 33 and I am 27. We have been together for 3+ years and our relationship is pretty strong. But, he befriends people much younger and hangs out with one 21 year girl old in particular. Is this a red flag? He wouldn't cheat, but I personally find it really inappropriate for a 33 year old man to hang out with a 21 year old girl. I have talked to him about it and he said he'd stop talking to her, but you know they never mean it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 March 2013):
 He befriends people much younger and hangs out with them… what does that mean exactly. How is he meeting these folks? IF he’s seeking them out on social media and they have nothing else in common yeah, I’d be concerned… but if he met them from a social event where they have something in common or work, then I am not sure it’s an issue.
I am 53 next week. My husband is 39. I have friends who are in their early 30s. I have friends who are in their 60s. Close friends. Males and females. I don’t see this as a problem. Or a red flag. Some of my friends have children OLDER than my husband and yet they are friends with him.
I’m sensing that there is more here than the basic question. Like he’s seeking these young women out on social media to befriend them.
In addition you said “he said he would stop talking to her but you know they never mean it” do you mean he lies and you don’t trust him? Why not?
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 I don't see anything wrong with it unless you have reason to believe there is something going on. Age doesn't mean anything, if they work together I am sure they are just friends. work is a lot better if you get on with your colleagues!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): It depends how they met OP. I'm only a little bit older and have loads of male and female friends that age and a year or two older because I only got out college 2 years ago.
I have a lot of time and fun associating with people that age, with all due respect people our age are boring and settled. Like to talk about their kid's latest nappy change, the colour of their babies latest poop, how much they spent on car insurance last week or how much washing powder has gone up in price in the last few years. Ugh, wake me up when your life isn't mundane.
One of the best parts of it all is the "big brother" effect. I'm twice their age, I know how to get shit done and I've experienced all they're going through so I'm in a position to guide them a bit. In return I have friendships with people who still find life fresh, exciting and fun. I have loads of friends my age, long term long lasting friendships but they're all settled now, married, with kids, hardly ever around and when they are the only "interesting" news they have is their daughters grades at school, or a lovely new sofa they bought.
I think you're being a tad jealous OP, unless he just met this girl randomly in a bar or something and got her number then her age is irrelevant. 21 year olds are adults they have just as much potential to have things in common with you as any person your age and frankly they're generally not jaded and are still fun loving.
I think it's unfair of you to demand he stop talking to her, it's petty jealousy OP because as you said he would never cheat, so who cares how old his friends are?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 March 2013):
 What do you mean, "hang out"? Are they co-workers and he has lunch with her, or does he take her out on dates?
There is nothing wrong with having a platonic female friend, and the age difference isn't all that much. Why are you telling him to not talk to her? What exactly is he doing with her that shows that he is disloyal to you??
It would be inappropriate if he was taking her out on dates, or if they were constantly texting, or if it was known that she feels more for him than friendship (i.e. she told him or a friend and it got back to you).
We need more to go on, because it's pretty controlling to pick out a platonic friend you feel is a threat and simply say "don't talk to her anymore" when there is no disloyalty of any kind. So tell us more about this?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 March 2013):
It's unusual, but I don't think it's a red flag. I recently started going back to school in my mid thirties and have made friends with some women in their lower 20's. We get along on some level that's fun, nothing more than that.
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