A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been with my boyfriend for one month now, he really turns me on. Is it right to point out to him that he didn't finger me right yesterday? I think i am the first girl he has ever attempted this with but I don't know how to ask. He has been out with lots of my friends and he is known to be bi, am i stupid to be with him? I really think I love this guy but i'm not sure i'm ready to have sex with him and that seems to be where all of this is leading.thanks,EDear Cupid,I dont know what my boyfriend expects from me, we have been together about 1 month and he has just started fingering me, how am i supposed to react to this? and please tell me in detail as i am very inexperienced, mainly because of something that happened 7 years ago i have not let a guy near me since until now, i really want to have sex with him and i am getting really broody, is it a good idea to have sex with him? i can't really see this relationship lasting because he has been out with so many of my friends before me and im not sure im good enough for him, both physically and sexually. i really do love him though and i dont ever want to loose him.thanks,E[Moderator's note: Two questions from the same user have been merged together]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I wouldn't have sex with him if i were you. I have been with the same person for over 3 years, i am only about to be 16 and we have yet to make sex a part of the relationship. Our relationship is so strong and has structure more then just sex. We know eachother and we have an emotional connection rather then just a physical one. As turned on as you may be by him there is no reason to give that up. After only a month there really is know way you could completely know him. You don't know if he is just going to leave. It is unbelievable the amount of guys that do that. Don't let him use you.
A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Dont do it I can tell just from reading that you are not ready to do it and it is just your hormones acting up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): I know how you feel, I've been there and its hard but you are too young, trust me I would know, I'm around your age. Guy's change fast, and you need to wait a few more years. Get to know him more, and wait until he is a little more commited and older. Wait until your 18 or 19 and in a more serious relationship. Don't worry you will get through this, and waiting is the best thing, trust me. Good luck, it will all work out.
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A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Sex can be both an emotionally and physically intense experience and generally, if you are asking if you are ready, you likely aren't ready.
Knowing when and when not to have sex is a matter of being able to make decisions for yourself and for your own life. If you don't know if you're ready to do that, then it might be best to take some time to let yourself develop that ability.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Do NOT have sex with him. REPEAT - DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM!
You're too young, he's too young, and he's running around with all of your friends and has no sense of commitment. You are not mature enough to handle the consequences and risks of sex, and neither is he!
Having sex because you don't want to lose him is the absolute worst reason to even think about it! Having sex because he's bad at fingering you is even worse!
Leave him alone and wait a few years. Your view on sex, as well as your maturity level will be a lot better. Leave it alone for now and DO NOT do it. He will cheat on you, then leave you within 1 month after giving him your virginity.
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A
female
reader, src5404 +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Having sex with someone you don't see yourself lasting with is not a good idea. You are too young to being having sex anyway, and I mean that. Not in a "your a stupid little girl" way but if you have been hurt in some way by an experience in the past having sex will only make your feeling of insecurity worse. I thought having sex with my boyfriend of a YEAR would make me feel better about past pain but it didn't. It made me feel much worse. You have only been with this guy a month, that is way to short of a time for someone your age to decide whether or not you want to have sex. At your age you tend to fall in an out of "love" quickly. Don't have your heart broken before you are even old enough to give it away. Please consider counseling for whatever hurt you in the past, many churches have free counselors if you cannot afford one.
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