A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So Iv'e been with my girlfriend for about 2.5 years and was asked over the weekend where our relationship was going? I asked her "why, are you having doubts?"Her response was that she was unhappy. This was a huge shock to me as I thought our relationship had it's "issues" like any other relationship but nothing to warrant a breakup. I was told that I had done nothing wrong and that whatever faults I had were insignificant and had nothing to do with her unhappiness. After grilling for hours to work out what was going on, she told me that she cared for me and she liked me and even loved me but she was never "in love with me". She said she wasn't interested in being with anyone at the time I came along but ended up going out with me because I was a great guy, handsome and intelligent and wanted to see how things wen't but about 2 years into the relationship she started to realize that she cared about me but was not in love with me. So basically now we have broken up because of a "feeling" which apparently just happened. She can't give me specifics of what made her realise it was not being "in love" that made her stay with me but that she cared alot about me. Is this even possible? I can tell her why I'm in love with her so why should it be unexplainable that someone is NOT in love with someone?So now I'm devastated. my plans with her were to eventually marry her as I felt so sure about this. Is it a case of falling in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way?Can any ladies try to explain this to me? Have you had experiences where this "unhappiness" just creeps in to the point where you no longer wan't to be in a relationship? Is it genuinely because of a gut feeling or because your partner just eventually made you unhappy? I'm really confused because I'd rather hear that I did something wrong and correct it. Even if it were to ensure I didn't make that same mistake in the next relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response. We are still friends at this point in time, I don't hate her for this. The hardest part is that I know I should be cutting contact for a while to get over it, but SHE was the person I always confided in and told my feelings to. Most of the people I know just came up with the usual "plenty of fish in the sea" rubbish, so I end up having to spill my guts to her because she really was my best friend as well as girlfriend and only she understood me and empathized with me better than anyone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): Hi, I have been in a relationship where the guy was great, loving and romantic, unfortunately its just a comfortable relationship. I wanted to feel wild and passionately about the guy, when I kiss him, I am totally lost. This is something that is either there in a relationship or not. You would be surprised how many woman have left very good BF, to settle for a guy that treated them so badly, it probably the passion that all woman yearn for.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 This must be so very hard for you. I honestly do believe your girlfriend when she says it's nothing you've done wrong. For whatever reason she's feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled in the relationship. This is very hard on you but I'm sure is hard for her too.
It's completely possible that she can't quite put her finger on what's wrong. When you break things down, you're perfect and life's ok but when the whole package is put together it just feels wrong. She's not being unkind, just truthful but sadly the truth is very painful for you. You love her and wouldn't want her to be miserable, so it seems you have to let her go.
Give her some space and, if you can, try to remain friendly and open, this may allow you both the opportunity to talk things over in a while when the hurt is less fresh. This may afford you both some answers.
Unrequited love sucks but is as old as time itself. Give yourself some time and space to grieve as you're suffering a heart breaking loss.
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