A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago. I really loved him and I'm sure that he loved me too. We were so close and I felt so comfortable with him it was something special. Anyway we broke because rumours started about him (which have since proved to be completely false) and another girl (who turned out to be a psycho - seriously a psycho) and I didn't know how to deal with it. I know he felt really damaged by the whole situation and didn't know what to do about it but anyway we got back into contact again (we live in the same village so its pretty hard not to) and I thought that we were gonna work things out but I haven't told him that I wanna get back with him and when we see each other it's like he's afraid to say anything like that to me even though I feel that it's what he's thinking? I know you guys probably think it's a lost cause but I can't give up hope? I have the chance now to go away and leave it all behind but I feel like if I do then I am giving up the chance of something that could be amazing. Is is wrong to still hope? I really love this guy we're both really young but it felt right. Please help..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): I think that you should approach him. If he still has feelings for you (as his friendly contact would indicate) he might just be afraid of you not feeling the same about him. Making the first move in a situation like this can be a bit scary but if neither one of you dose it the feelings of regret will be so much worse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone just providing an update, likei sed my ex an i have been in contact, last week he startd texting me again jus saying hi and chatting like that. is this a good sign that hes still in contact??? we didnt really talk about anything serious i hate doing that over text. i was hoping he'd ask to meet up or something but is it possible hes waiting 4 me to make that move?? My friend said that he must still have feelings or he wouldnt have bothered making the effort to initiate the texting..what d u all think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Yes it makes sense. In the original post you didn't say it was a new relationship so I assumed you knew each other well. It's understandable that when you are getting to know someone that there might be mistakes. The only thing you or anyone else in such a situation can do is keep trying. I hope it works out for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Makes perfect sense. You are growing and learning. You won't always get things right the first time. It's okay. You aren't perfect. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better next time around. Good luck in all your relationship endeavors!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Makes perfect sense. You are growing and learning. You won't always get things right the first time. It's okay. You aren't perfect. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better next time around. Good luck in all your relationship endeavors!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone , its good to get other peoples opinions. I do think I may have to put myself out there and risk it.like you said its something i will have to live with for the rest of my life. as for the comment on the rumour thing i totally agree and its been a big lesson to me. also i think the reason it split us was that we hadnt been together as a couple that long - and were testing the waters you know? so i think both of us didnt really know how to deal with it or how the other would react? does that make sense?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Like others have said before, you will always wonder until you ask. In terms of the rumor breaking things up before, you might have to take a look at the relationship and see why it was able to do that. If you can't trust him, figure out why and work on it. Talk to him. Neither of you may really know exactly what the problem is, but just work on whatever comes to mind and maybe you'll fix things w/out realizing it. The hardest problems to solve are the ones we hide from ourselves. You have to explore each other and the relationship to find those problems hiding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): its important that u go back, this will be something u will think about for the rest of your life, i know its easyer said than done, but u have to put your feelings out there, it might turn out great, good luck , lets us know what happen
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): He's probably still hurt that you broke up over a rumor. Tell him how you feel don't be afraid to make the first move. If he has moved on it is better to know for sure than to keep wasting time. Remember this incident whether you do get back together or not that rumors are not facts. Yours is not the first relationship to be ruined by them and I doubt it will be the last.
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female
reader, LynstHolin  +, writes (15 July 2007):
You're going to have to be direct--ask him what he thinks. If you don't, you'll always regret it. If he says that there's no chance of getting back together, it'll it hurt, but you can move on.
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