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Is is wrong to have sex with my ex husband's best friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *glyDucklingBaby writes:

So me my now ex husband and our best Male friend and his now ex wife,have all been friends for many years. me and my ex husband were married for 5 years and my friend and his wife where married for 7 years.. my birthday recently passed and my husband came to bed about 2 am and i had to be up for work on my birthday at 4 am so when i woke up to find a present which was addressed to "to the love of my life" i assumed it was for me so i lifted the lid and inside was a box which looked like a ring box, i opened it to find a small diamond ring and on the inside lid of the box was " to the love of my life Miranda will you please marry me, i love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you" typed in small lettering! my heart sank and i didn't know what to do so i called my best friend up and asked if he could meet me, thankfully he was just finishing work at 5 am so we met up and i showed his a picture of the ring and we both then went to our lawyers and filed for divorce from my husband and his wife.

Anyway i went to work on my birthday knowing that my husband wouldn't be at my house when i got home around 7pm, my best friend had called in sick to work and came round to my place, we knew they were at some hotel or something because they weren't at my house or at my friends.

so i called a removal van up packed all his stuff into a van got is card and payed for a storage space for his stuff with his card and then i changed the locks to my place and my friend did the same thing to his wife except he payed for her's with his money.

anyway they admitted they had cheated and were having an affair we all signed the divorce papers and around 2 months ago me and my friend ended up sleeping together, i mean it was not a mistake but am i wrong for feeling guilty... we didn't cheat and we were single but is it wrong and immoral to sleep together and date each other?

View related questions: affair, best friend, divorce, ex-wife, I love you, money, my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013):

Don't fret it honey. I really hope you enjoyed it. Your marriages were over, you knew each other, you both obviously agreed to sex. Stop feeling guilty, your x didn't care about having sex with another woman when he was married to you. I do however know first hand about you feeling guilty. I was after finding my wife was a cheater with co workers. I met a longtime female friend who was also a victim of a cheater. We talked about having our own affair and we eventually did, for 5 years. The first experience made me feel guilty, the second not so much by the third time I felt no guilt, just more anger that my wife was a tramp for her co workers, several of them too. She made her bed, she has a bad reputation at her job now. My friend and I are no longer lovers, still close friends and I am grateful to her everyday that she had a 5 year affair with me. I am divorced now but she stayed on with her marriage and I can't understand why, but it's not my business and respect that she is still a friend and no longer my lover. I wish you well and stop with the guilt.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 July 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt

Aren't there a couple of New York Yankee baseball players who did just this (swapped partners) back in the 60s or 70s???? I think they were Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson...

At the time, many of us thought it was amusing... and now, many years later, you report that you're party to four people doing the very same thing....

Sooooo.... what's the question????

Good luck...

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