A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Guys and Gals I really need your opinions of whether this a good or bad idea!!Just a quick profile. I recently went through a mutual break up with my long distance girlfriend, it's been 7 week. We'd been dating for close to 5 years and next year had planned to attend the same university to construct a life together. We split because the spark had gone and we both were starting to feel trapped in the relationship. Now I've had time to reflect though I feel that we let our education stresses get on top of us and were scared by a dying spark between us and that we should have persevered, I mean most couples go through this at some point right? I wanted to give her and me some time apart to reflect which I feel I've achieved. Anyway the idea,I was thinking of booking a hotel and travelling up to visit her at university in a few weeks time. I don't want to pressure her so I was going to post her a package including a letter of how I feel, a book of all the great times we've had together (which I was working on before we broke up) and possibly my relationship reflection, which is just all my typed up thoughts. Like I said I don't want to overwhelm her so I was going to ask her to meet me on the beach at sunset if she decides she sees a loving future for us.So guys, gals is this going to scare her off? I feel I've got to do something as I still very much love her and don't want to look back and wish I'd done more. I also realise this involves me putting myself up for the risk of rejection but sometimes we've got to take those risks to find love. Please share your honest opinions :)
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broke up, long distance, spark, trapped, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MissScarlet13 +, writes (9 April 2009):
Wow. If I were the girl in question I would not be thinking that it was too much. You sound very romantic and she is a lucky girl. However, I think you are right to be cautious, you have been apart for 7 weeks - that is quite a long time - and i suppose you have had no contact? It depends on how she feels about things, but after such a long time apart she might not have those feelings that she once had and may have just decided the best thing to do is to move on. I say this only so that you don't completely get your hopes up for her to not turn up or to tell you she's moved on. 5 years is a long time to be together so you must have really loved one another to last that long...I'm sure after all that time together you still are in her thoughts so hopefully she will be swept off her feet that you would do all of that for her. And think of it this way, if you never did this for her, you would always wonder what if? And if you do it and it doesn't turn out how you wanted it to then you haven't really lost anything and can think that you tried all you could to make it better (like you said), but maybe fate doesn't say that you should be together. Sometimes you need that time apart to miss someone and realise how much that person means to you. I wish you all the luck and let us know how you get on
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