A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:In a long term relationship for 9 years. About a 2yrs ago boyfriend cheated for about 1 year with a younger woman. We are both 49 yrs old. We got engaged about a year ago. When he is with me his ph is constently off. I have been having problems with him for a while about contacting his ex girlfriends, he refuses and says he is 49yrs old and an adult and he will speak to whom he wants.I have just broken up with him over this and everyone thinks I am silly. He only has a network of women friends that he talks to at least every day. Am I over reacting is it normal for a male to still be speaking to his ex's after 9 years of us being toegether? Please advise?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You, it is so nice to have a male's opinion.
The problem I have with him talking to his ex's is that I believe that it is emotional conversation. This is a guy who plays golf 3 times a week, therefore he has a network of male buddies,so I do not understand the relationships with all these women. Especially knowing that men are not chatters like women. so what is he talking about. Thery are his friends for years and I have not met one of them? He still thinks I am being totally ridiculous. I said he needs to make the decision of what he does as it is his proble and I should not be the one who has to work at getting his trust. Thank you all for the responses, it sure helps. Protea
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 I still keep in touch with an ex (after 30 years) but it's just Christmas cards and once in a blue moon lunch. Not an everyday phone call.. that would be a bit much.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (6 November 2007):
 It's not too odd for a person to be in touch with their exs.. but it is odd if he was still in touch with his affair. It is odd that he keeps his phone off while you 2 are together. I believe there's a bad reason to why he does keep his phone off. If one is true, there is no reason to hide anything as long as he's not doing it because you constantly accuse him of cheating each time someone calls or txts. But I don't think you are that silly. I been through this with my ex and in the end she pretty much confirmed to me what was going on. She was seeing other guys more than "just friends" while we were together. But well I dont think you are too silly. Good luck with everything
~tux~
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