A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a sibling relationship I have a problem about. I live with my sister overseas, she is a single mom with 2 kids from different men, I am single. Well, we agreed to live together with all household expenses cut into half. Even for the house rental, we pay 50/50. My friends are surprised and they say it's not fair on my part considering that I am alone and my sister has a nanny and 2 kids. I don't mind it at first even though I spend more than I should if I would to live alone. Just today, my sister informed me that she is taking 2 of her friends to live with us so she could save more money.Well, this is making me think now. Why is she making a decision without even asking permission from me? We are both adults now but sometimes it seems like I am still treated as a young girl. I feel like I am choking now to think that 2 people will add up the space in our little house. Privacy is top priority for me and its the reason why I decided to live with her in spite of the money I have to pay for her coz I tell myself, I only have her and the kids to live with.Another thing, if i try to argue with her, she would tell me that she has 2 kids and I am single anyway. Is it my fault that I am free of responsibility of children? I send support to our mom back home and she makes it sound like it is not fair that she spends money on her children. I am single, it is my privilege to save money for myself, why is it unfair? I find it hard to save money for myself as every time, I have to save her from debts she can avoid for things she don't actually need. Is this how family should be? It seems like her income is hers and my income is for both of us just because I am single and I should help her. Is this normal? Advise please!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Time to move out, for sure. She only needs to find one more friend to take your spot. Don't discuss or negotiate or justify your decision--just tell her it's not working out for you, you need more privacy and that's that.
Give her some time to find a new roommate while you are looking for your own place.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Wow, I would move out. Find a place of my own. She CHOSE to have kids. WHY should YOU pay for her choices?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 July 2010):
Maybe moving out would be the better option. It seems like your sister is pretty good at playing the victim, and not so good at getting on with life. You pay 50% of the rent, so you should have been consulted. She seems to throw far too much into your face. All right, so you're single. She's the one who has had two children by two men and is also single. All right, you send money home to your mother while she spends it on her kids. That's life, and that's her problem. I think the time has come for you to make a move away. Don't be hustled by your sister. She made her decisions, and none have worked out. That's her problem. Not yours.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (6 July 2010):
 not fair at all, you need to sit her down, and talk to her about this, you shouldn't have to pay 50, just because you're single, and if you are paying 50% she should always consult with you before inviting people over, especially if you're going to be paying for their food, their bills, everything. You should talk to her, and tell her that if she doesn't fix her act you're moving out, and she can do it on her own. Just my advice.
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