New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is his watching horror films just a "bloke thing" or should I be a bit worried about my husband's state of mind?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,

I have a question about horror films. My husband loves to watch them, including some pretty gory, ultra violent ones. I don't like them but I will watch them sometimes although I don't like the really bad ones. Most of my female friends say that refuse to watch horror films and would walk out the room if their husbands/boyfriends put on a really nasty one. I have watched the films with him but he refuses to watch the films that I like with me. We watch comedy and comedy drama together and so on. Is this horror film fetish just a 'bloke thing' or should I be a bit worried about my husband's state of mind?

And how do other women feel about watching them? Would you sit through them because he enjoys them even if they disturb you and make you feel sick? A couple of them, which I sat through with him, gave me bad nightmares (one of them was really really gory and nasty) and some of the milder ones are ok but some of them bore me. I wondered if anyone has any comments? We are both in our late 40's by the way. Thanks

View related questions: violent

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008):

i also love horror films and i am completey fine and in a fit state of mind!!

i wouldnt stress or worry about your husbands film preferences, everyone likes certain genres more than others.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

Thanks. I think the thing that was bugging me a bit was really the films we have watched where there are violent rape scenes cos I find those really disturbing but he seems to laugh at them and he even made a joke about one of them in bed one day. 'Duskyrowe' your answer really made me laugh out loud that was SO funny I am still chortling away here!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntI am a huge fan of horror movies and of a very sound mind. So relax, it does not mean that your fella is gonna turn into Norman Bates. My fave horror movie has to be The Omen movies. There are a lot of women out there who like horror movies and I am one of them. With horror movies have to separate what is fact and what is fantasy.

And before you ask, I am a mother of two and soon be a grandmother. Dusky xxx.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2008):

Dawnie agony auntHi i used to watch horrors a lot when i was younger. Some were scary but not really gruesome like some are today. I used to like a good story behind them not just mindless blood and gore. My husband does not like horror films so i have not watched one for a long time. The scariest movie i have watched in recent years is "Scream". There is nothing wrong in watching these films, it is just down to preference. Nowadays we watch a good thriller, something with a twist at the end.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2008):

kellyO agony auntHi,

I used to be crazy about all kinds of horror films when i was in my teens and my early twenties. But now i get scared to watch the really horror ones, although i still enjoy most.I usually have bad dreams afterwards like when i went to watch chain saw massacre the beginning with my fiance.lol. I couldnt sleep for a week and now he usually discourages me for seeing most of them and we go for comedy instead.

I think it is a matter of preference and you shouldnt worry yourself about it. I know some of my girlfriends love watching them with their boyfriends just so they can cling on to them during horror scenes. lol.

If they bother you, u can exclude yourself or close your eyes during horror scenes like i do sometimes.lol. Dont stop him for watching them if he enjoys them but that doesnt mean you have to watch it with him.

Take care now.... Kelly.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, MissKin United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2008):

MissKin agony auntThis doesn't indicate there is anything wrong with his state of mind, but there has been a constant psychological debate about the effects of media violence on people's states of minds, but i do not suggest worrying about it.

As for my own personal preferences to horror films.. i completely love them. But i love all movies and will watch anything. if something is completely disturbing to me (such as Chuckie/child's play) i will refuse to watch it, with or without my boyfriend wanting to and he would never want me to watch it if i was that scared.

I think it's mean that your husband will not watch films you enjoy with you, it seems one sided. i suggest talking to him about it but if he still refuses to watch things with you that you enjoy, stop putting yourself through the torture of watching horror films that you're not getting anything out of.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

Hello it is the poster here, thanks for your answers - some of the films are ones that have been banned from the cinema and are only available on dvd and they are 'uncut' and have footage of women being raped and killed (obviously they are not real rapes but the filming makes it look real I can tell you) and chopped up etc by mad misogynists and one of them is about this really really spooky guy who stalks women, kills them and keeps them in his room and my husband finds these amusing as well - these are the ones that bug me, not so much the general horror films in the cinema. I did see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre which I really enjoyed but found scary.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

I dont think there is anything wrong with ur husband, i am a 23 year old female and my favorite movies are horror movies. some people like movies that make them laugh, some like movies that make u cry, and some people just like to be shocked and scared. You never know what expect when watching a horror movie, that's what's great about them. A lot of females and males i know enjoy watching horror films, including my 46 year old dad and his friends. If you look at how much horror movies make at the box-office you will realize there are many people like your husband. hope this could help you out some! TAKE CARE

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

Is he otherwise violent or predisposed to violence judging by the choices he makes? If this is not the case, it can be simply a matter of preference, unrelated to any typical behaviour in the real life. For how long have you known him? Did you ask him what attracts him at this genre (informatively, not unrespectful to his choices)? Some people watch such movies of all types of deliquencies and absurdity for the psychological side, especially when they reconstitute the development of the... person(s) in cause. Does he search intentionally for them? Most have an impressive title e.g. "The house of death." - spectators of this category are usually enthralled the grossing out and entertaining occurring at the same time and enjoy the idea of uncommonness. If the story would be based on real facts, it would be less attractive a 'spectacle' and more saddening a 'narration' for a person who hasn't become... desensitised, in the manner you fear!

Lately I noticed violence films are distributed vehemently at TV, whereas they will not impact an adult as much as he is already used with the severity of life and not as influencial as a child, the little are much sensitive to the 'exposure' and liable to imitate.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Transcowboy United States +, writes (17 February 2008):

Transcowboy agony auntAll guys like to watch horror films, its not cause we are crazy. We just get a thrill from them. If it really bothers you talk to your husband about it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is his watching horror films just a "bloke thing" or should I be a bit worried about my husband's state of mind?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312531000017771!