A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Since I broke up with my ex 4 months ago, we have been communicating every now and then. But our talk wasn't usually good, there was this blaming and starting a fight on my side. He tried to ignore me but somehow, he would communicate back in a calmer mood just when I start to distance myself.Around 2 months ago we saw each other and ended up making out in his car. He said he wanted me back and was so happy I had agreed to see him. We however didn't get back for some reason. But still, we argue on text once a week.Because of this, I realized this has to end. It's going in circles. So I made a story and hinted to him that I am starting to date someone else. That's when he decided to see me one more time for closure. And I agreed. But the next day, he called me and said he hopes that we can still be friends. I said, no problem. But on my part, i deleted all his numbers and blocked him on facebook and hotmail. I know this is for the best. There is no way I will contact him again, i am starting to feel happy about my singleness. That was 3 weeks ago.But just a few days ago at around 3am, he texted me and asked if I was still awake. Then he called and we talked lightly on the phone and even joked a bit. Then he said that he thinks I am still awake because I have been out with my new bf. I didn't say anything, just laughed more. Then he said he is on his way to my house, he wanted to show me his brand new car. I refused and said it is 3am, not a decent time to see him. But he said he was just being friendly. So I met him and we drove around the city to talk about our jobs and our families. He bought me a hot choco. We went to the sea side and he asked me more questions like what I am doing on a typical weekday after work etc. Then he drove me back to my house. But all the way, he looked a bit sad.So my question is, what could be his motive in wanting to see me so late? He behaved so well and didn't even touch my fingertips. I was surprised.Would you call that a booty call? After all of this, I realized I still love him but I don't have high hopes of getting him back. I am just curious about him.Any advise pls?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): wow-- this sounds exactly like my story. its so hard to move on because you are still in contact with him. every time I see my ex we have one of those perfect night that gets my hopes up and I have been just hanging on a strong. its emotionally painful and made me so confused for 6 months now.. I have been seeing my ex as well until something inside of me snapped last week and I decided to write him an email explaining I don't want him to contact me anymore. I am hoping to be strong enough and that he will respect my wish..it has been a week now so we will see. but honestly I advise you to cut contact completely. in the end what ever should happen will. but for now the healthiest thing for you to do is focus on urself and try to not dwell on him. I have felt so good about my decision and that it was my choice and not his . but I was given the advice that one cannot move on from an ex if having friendly or sexual relations. anyway nice to know someone else is in the same situation..I hope you do the right thing for urself. best of luck!!
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Sounds to me like he's not entirely over you either and is trying to figure things out. Late at night, many men (myself included) get more sentimental or lonely, and he might have missed you and wanted to see you more at 3:00am than he lets himself by day.But he IS jerking around your heart (and his own) by keeping your friendship and potential relationship going like this. It's painful, but if you want to get over him, it may be best to spend some time apart, without texts or calls or 3:00am drives.Maybe you can be friends again later, but for now you're both too close to this to move on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
From a male:
This guy has got you on a piece of string and he's playing with your heart. You've got to stop talking to him, texting him, everything. There are other guys out there, so I would suggest finding mr right instead of hanging around with a man who so clearly is using you. Sorry if that's blunt. Find a nice guy who respects you. xx
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