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Is him looking at porn just a phase he's going through?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I recently found out my fiance is looking at a lot of porn. He is also chatting with them online, and I walked in on him once when he was getting off on it. He ran out of the room, embarresed, and curious I looked on the computer (suspecting it to simply be pics and I was curious as to what turned him on) and he was chatting with this woman and one of his questions was if she had touched her 15 year old daughter yet? It was a lesbian site. Later I found a lot of websties on his history that were of underaged girls ranging from 15 and up,as well as the normal porn sites of 18 and up. I don't understand!! This thoroughly disturbes me, but we have been together for so long and have so much history, that I don't feel like I can break it off because of this. I haven't talked to him about it, I don't know how to. I need help! Is this just a phase he is going through? I don't think he would meet these girls,because he wouldn't date me until I turned 18, we are 3 years apart, but it makes me paranoid. And if I marry him and we have children?? I'm seriously freaking out! I need advice!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007):

I would have a good long chat with your bloke. Ask him exactly what is going on and let him know just what you feel about it all. You cannot go on like this and neither can he. If he is looking at under age sex then that is wrong for a start and needs to be addressed! Don't let it go on any longer, you are not happy and i don't see why you should put up with this. Don't marry this guy until you have all of this sorted out. Be strong and let him know that you are not happy.

Take care

xx

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A female reader, perkypanda United States +, writes (20 March 2007):

The underage factor is creepy and suspicious, also that he's at least thinking about incest, wow.

When you take away the disturbing aspects, pictures are one thing, but engaging in conversation with the intention of getting off crossing the line in my opinion.

I think no matter how much history you have, he isn't who you thought he was.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007):

Don't marry this guy, this is a total insult to you, and he is pretty weird with his fascination for children and porn, I am not going to give you a lecture here.

My advice is to go and see a therapist alone, and talk with them about your concerns with your boyfriend's porn habit, and then if he won't give it up or seek therapy for his dependency on porn, then absolutely this is a deal breaker!

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