A
female
age
26-29,
*ighheeledfeminist
writes:I met this guy over the summer and we got on pretty well, but as far as I was concerned we were just friends. However, he started sending me really dirty text messages and basically wanted to hook up with me. I am a virgin and have never had anyone approach me this way so I didn't quite know what to do. I have to admit I sort of succumbed to his flattery and played along, I never sent him any pictures and I didn't end up seeing him at all after he started with these messages, never sexted him though he sent ME many graphic messages, but just kind of went along with it and entertained the possibility of us having sex. He IS very attractive and I guess I was just so amazed because no one has ever been interested in me like that before. I was so naive. He just stopped texting me after awhile and I just found out he was trying to hook up with another friend that I met at the same program that I met him at, and they were texting at the exact same time he was texting me!! He just wanted a f*, not a girlfriend; all the things he said about how I'm beautiful, smart, funny, etc., now I don't know whether he really meant them. Because on one hand, it looks to me like he was just desperately horny and would take whatever he could get; he even told me he didn't think he actually would want to date me he wanted to be "good friends who trusted each other enough to experiment together".......but he also said he would take things as slow as I wanted, and if I saw him and all we could do was kiss then he would be okay with that. Annyways, I do know I don't want to have sex with him, I WILL save myself for the right person, and I don't want a romantic relationship with him, we're just too different. But before this happened I really did value his friendship, I trusted him and enjoyed his company and conversation. I don't know whether I should forgive him for this and continue talking to him as friends, or just let him slip out of my life. We haven't texted in about a month, so basically what I wanna know is, should I take the initiative to keep the friendship going? (I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be the one to text first now that he knows there's no chance of sex.) Or is he even worth it? It would be easy to just not text him...but part of me wonders if he deserves a chance.
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female
reader, love sux  +, writes (4 October 2012):
u shud not ,, read again DO NOT TEXT HIM .... and i dont think u should reply evn if he texts u ,,, i cn see how important he was to u but face it u were not respected in same manner ..... just move on while its easier .. trust me any further contact will make it more and more difficult FOR U (not him)..... most important thing u find in ur mate is tht he respects u nd feels tht u'r important for him ,, without that feeling its NOT WORTH IT !!
A
female
reader, highheeledfeminist +, writes (23 September 2012):
highheeledfeminist is verified as being by the original poster of the question You guys are great :) thank you so much for your transparent advice and support!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): This is difficult because its plain to see you do like him.. However I would trust my gut with this one.. And I'd leave it until he texted first, I know that's hard but trust me even if you wish to remain friends your gonna have to ride it out,. If you text his little head and not the one on his shoulders is going to start thinking your interested in sex no matter if you tell him differently . That's how guys work.. Now you will be thinking what if he doesn't text, that a chance your gonna have to take. If he appreciates your friendship like you do his, he will text if he doesn't then you know and you will move on.In the future, Do not entertain any sex messages unless your dating or engaged or married to the significant other . It always devalues you, as little head again, not one on his shoulders thinks your easy..It hard to say if he meant the texts of your beautiful etc. everyone is beautiful in their own way. Feeling good about yourself having confidence, does show.. And I bet your as cute as a little button. Do not let this joker bring you down.. Move on head held high, let him do the running.Take care sweetie.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (22 September 2012):
 You liked the flattery and feeling desired. You don't want to keep him as a friend. Let's get real here, you just like the attention and how it makes you feel. Friends don't send sexual text messages, dirty pictures, nor do they tell you they want to bone you. You don't think about your friends and think to yourself, yes, I'd kind of like to have sex with them - they're hot. You two are not friends. He wants some ass and you want the attention.Since he is not getting any from you, he has chose to ignore you and pursue pussy elsewhere. Someone that will give it up to him. You just miss the attention and the sexual tension. Let it go. If you message him, you'll just look desperate and you two won't be friends in either case. Either he will continue to ignore you because you're not giving him what he wants, or you two will get sexual. Those are the only two options.
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