A
female
age
30-35,
*oveStruckk10
writes:Okay soo I'm a junior and im 17 and theres this guy and hes 17 and turning 18 soon.. he's a senior.. and he has a girlfriend but shes a sophomore.. and they've been going out for a little over a year and ive been talking to him for about 6-7 months and he is really amazing.. i really like him.. and unlike the other guys I've talked to.. i haven't fallen quite in love with him yet.. well at least i don't think i have.. but uhmm basically we like each other alot.. and we talk about everything on earth and he knows almost everything about me and yet he still talks to me.. i have been going through some stuff these past couple of weeks and he has been a big part of my support system.. and we talk every single day.. the thing is he says that hes torn between me and his girlfriend.. then the other night he said he was going to break up with her cause he wasn't feeling it anymore.. the crazy thing is that they're still together and me and him have been seen around school and people are starting to say that we talk and stuff.. but i don't want him to get in trouble with his girlfriend.. plus i heard she is a really good fighter and will fight me if she finds out anything.. my friends told me to cut him off.. and i tried doing that today.. and when i saw him after that he looked depressed.. and after i had done it i was depressed and i felt empty inside.. so i started talking to him again and after that i felt fine and he looked fine.. but the problem is he has a girlfriend.. is he honestly worth it or am i blinding myself in the hope that it might be love?P.S. we have kissed already and we just started talking about sex and the possibility of him taking my v-card.. and he's experienced..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): hii...okayy...i'm not trying to be harsh here, even though it will probably wind up sounding that way. buuut in situations like this, it's kind of hard to sugar-coat things, and it's also best not to even try. soo, here goes.the bottom line here is that he is cheating on his girlfriend with you. you might not be an official couple, buuut you've kissed...aaand even more than that, you're talking about having sex.soo, what if this guy DOES break up with his girlfriend to be with you??? who's to say that three months from now, he's not going to be breaking up with YOU for someone ELSE??? like so_very_confused pointed out, will you ever really be able to trust this guy??? i know that the "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing isn't always true, buuut let's face it...more often than not, it usually is.my advice??? run. go find somebody who is unattached and, therefore, free to devote all of their time to you. ask yourself, "do i really deserve to have to share with somebody else in this situation?" obviously, i don't actually know you, buuut i can guarantee that you most certainly do NOT deserve that. and i HIGHLY advise against giving him your virginity. that's something that you will never be able to get back. and it's something that this guy does not deserve from you.you're better than this. go find what you really deserve. ")good luck, and God bless,~sarsar~
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 October 2011):
 I agree with Aunt Honesty
He's cheating on his gf with you. IF he leaves her and goes with you will you ever trust him?
do you want to lose your v-card to such a boy? he can't even be straight up and honest with a girl he supposedly cares about (his GF) and walk away from her before he hooks up with you?
he has a girlfriend. find someone else.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 No please stay away from him, and please do not kiss him again let alone even think about having sex with him. He has a girlfriend. He has already cheated on her by kissing you, who knows who else he is chatting up. He is a cheat do you really want to be with someone like this. If you give him your virginity you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you really want to be with him well then make him chose either it is you or her, if he doesn't break up with her well then he was never serious about you and you need to cut all contact and get over him, if he does break up with her just remember once a cheater always a cheater.
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reader, mashftw  +, writes (5 October 2011):
That's really up to you to answer in time. But from my point of view... If he hasn't broken up with her or doesn't have any plans to in the near future then don't waste so much time on him! If he stays with her and keeps getting all this love and attention from you then he's getting the best of both worlds... and that's not how relationships work at all. All I can see is you getting hurt if you fall too deeply for him because while he's still with her there's more of a chance of him turning around and cutting you off than actually loving you instead of her. I know you've probably heard this a million times but there is a guy out there for you in the world and it most likely isn't him. There's guys out there that will be 10x better than him but it's your job to either stay where you are or search for somebody else. Remember that you're an individual person and your life doesn't depend on love or this one boy in particular. My final answer is... if nothing happens in your favor (that means if he doesn't break up with her or try to) in the next few weeks start to think about getting up and moving the hell on. He's just another guy... there's a lot of them out there. Just remember to keep your head up high because a guy that really and truly loves you will do anything for you and that means breaking up with whoever to be with you!
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