A
female
age
30-35,
*aiti30
writes: (Fake names already inserted)Hello!This question isnt about sex, or love, its about friendship. Ever since 6th grade (im in highschool now) Ive had 1 best frined, Michaela. When i was a freeshman, our relationship fell apart. She wasnt who she use to be, she was drinking, smoking, and having sex, and acting like what she was doing was ok I got sick of it. When she lost her virginity, She forgot about me, her best frined, and went off with "new" frineds. She told my secretts and has been acting so fake ever since. I want nothing to do with her (you can understand why) And now my other 2 firneds, kim and emily, Helpd me through evrything, and always takes my side. EMily got her first boyfriend, and i understand how exciting that would be, but now Enily, nevers texts me back, andonly wants somehting to do with me when shes bored, and kim, followers her around like a lost puppy. Right now, the only frined i have is my boyfrined, And everyone acting fake, and aonly tlKing to me when they need something is annoying me, And if i said something they would just deny it and it will tune into world war 3. How do I handle this?? Should i just get through the rest of my highschool year by myself? Do i need to distance myself from this??? Please help, im going crazy, and I have no frineds to talk about this with.Thanbks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (5 October 2011):
Ah the joys of high school! Believe me everything that you have just described is a lot more normal and common than you would think. Thank your lucky blessings that you have a boyfriend who am sure you can talk to. It sounds like you are beginning to feel lonely and I don't blame you. Everybody makes mistakes in high school believe me when you look back in years to come you will laugh about half of the things that worry you now. But off course you cannot let others walk all over you as well. Really this is your decision to make. Maybe try and make an effort with them and see if they will do the same. Tell them straight out that you are feeling quite lonely at the moment and miss the way you all used to be. See if that helps any.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): Oh where to begin. I know exactly how you feel, went through something similar at my high school. Unfortunately, a lot of people change for the worse in high school, whether it be because of their hormones, their developing sexuality, or wanting to feel 'adult'.In your case, i am sorry you had such a rough experience the first time around with micaela, but the new friends present a slightly different picture. Has she gotten with her new boyfriend only recently? If she has, then she is just in a 'honeymoon' phase where she wants to spend all her time with him. She will soon come down off of the new relationship high and should be more approachable.If not, lets say it has been a few months, then you should try explaining to her that you feel let down, and to kim as well. I know it sounds useless considering you said they get mad when you bring it up but it cant hurt to try one more time right?Lastly, there were plenty of fake people at my high school as well, and there always will be. There is no getting past that while youre there and all you can really do is focus on your schoolwork and finish up. You said you only have one year left, so my advice would be to focus on your work, try to mend your relationship with kim and emily, and if not possible then just leave the fakes to themselves, finish up, and move on to bigger and better things. You will make more friends along the way and as you move out of high school the people around you will mature and learn to appreciate you a lot more.
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