A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know a lot of people are going to probably tell me to leave this guy, but really I'm just wondering if there is any way that a break up could be avoidable. Even if a break up is the best thing, I'm more curious to see what the running up options might be.I have been seeing this guy I used to work with for about half a year now. He was going through a break up with his ex wife and baby mother of two kids at the time. Yes, I know, I shouldn't have been around at the time. I tried to break up with the guy because he was still living with her. I was lucky to see him a couple times a week and it drove me crazy watching him leave knowing he was going back home where she was. I tried really hard to pull away emotionally but because neither of us could leave each other alone, its really hard. It's that, "he's the one", situation when it comes to the chemistry and emotions we've had for each other. we tried to make things official a little while before and he was going to move in with me, but after a week or so he went to go have a sleep over with his daughter and i made him take his stuff with him because I thought it was ridiculous. He moved back in with her, though says they were just friends.Since then we worked things out because we cant seem to leave each other alone. But I told him about a week ago that I was done with him. I was done trying to date someone who lives with their ex/wife, and that I wasn't mad at him or expecting him to leave there for me, but that I deserve to pursue someone more available. Then he decided to make things more serious between us for a change and moved in.He sleeps here every night etc.But every morning around 10:30 he heads to her house to get his son ready for school, which is at noon. and then he comes back, then goes back there again around 2:30 to get his kids from school again at 3. Then he hangs out with his kids until about 5 and comes back here again for the night. its like they talk on the phone several times a day as well. its really frustrating.I don't expect him to pick me over being a parent, which is what he implied when we talked about the first break up. I just feel that when parents break up, there should be a little more distance between them and that they shouldn't have to interact 4-5 times a day. What does everyone else think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2016): He's still with her. At this point you're in too deep. You were in the picture when they were breaking up. They're a family. You should really leave him and let him go back to his family.
A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (5 January 2016):
 If you want to stay with him, you need to accept that his ex is going to be in his AND your lives forever. He has children with her and as a result, while annoying, if he wants to be in touch with her/them 4-5 times a day then you just have to accept that. At least he's upfront about it, it's not like he says he's staying late at work when really he's slinking round to his ex's house.
I don't entirely understand what you want from him, he comes home to you every night which is what you stated you wanted in order to be in a relationship, isn't it?
If you can't cope with the situation, then you should seriously think about breaking up, but if you're willing to adapt and learn how to be with someone with kids, I think this could work.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 January 2016):
 This sounds a little suspicious to me. I think you need to meet his ex and children. If you are both serious about having a relationship, then tell him you would like to meet her and the children. If he says no then my guess is that she doesn't know about you and that's not a healthy thing for you. In order for your relationship to work you need to be open and honest with each other and most importantly you need to be able to trust each other.
I admire that he is still being there for his children, but he does not need to keep in such close contact with their mother. I think there might still be feelings between them both.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2016): He has an history with his wife and children are involved. He cant just switch off for you . You have not been seeing him long and as you said in the middle of them splitting up was NOT a good idea. He still has responsibilities to his children. You can either split up for good or continue this saga. He is not going to change and deep down you know this. Try and get someone drama free.
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