A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend who has been divorced and single for the last 15 years. He has had long term relationships but has never lived with or made a commitment to any of them. We have been dating for a year and a half and he recently asked me to live with him and I did move in. We have an incredible relationship and we both agree it is better tha anything we have ever experiance with another person. We share common interests and thoroughly enjoy each others company. Although I know he wants me in his life, I am concerned he will never actaully ask me to marry him. I am also concerned that my living with him only gives him less reason to marry. I have told him that I want to be married and he has always responded that he does not want to grow old alone either but no marriage word. Recently he had talked much more about our future which made em feel he was moving towards a bigger commitment. I mentioned the engagement word to him and he completely freaked out. He said he was not getting me an engagement ring right now, said we cannot even work out our disagreements which was definitely a cop out excuse. Over the last year have had only a coupleof minor disagreements. We have never had a harsh fight or broken up. I now wonder if he likes being in a relationship and enjoys companionship but that all his other relationships may have failed at the mention of marriage and with his finding issues with the relationship for an excuse not to. All I know for sure is that his reaction to our getting engage was one of freaking out and when we discussed it the next day he asked me what would happen if he did not get me a ring by the end of this year and shy cannot I just live him? I am in my mid forty's and he is in his early 50s and I know I do not need to waste years on someone who is ultimately never going to commit. I am just not sure if he is non-committal or if I am reading too much into his reaction. Does this sound like a noncommittal guy and how long should I give him to produce a ring and set a date before I should move on?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 January 2010):
If he has been married before, and it didn't work out, then it may have completely put him off the idea of marriage. The thing is, he is committed to you, it's just the ring on the finger you need (which I do understand). I think you do need to have a talk with him about it. If you're looking for marriage, he may just not be the guy. Remember that marriage doesn't automatically mean someone is committed, as his divorce has proved. If it's something you want, talk to him about it and find out about how feelings towards it.
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