A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to make this short. Three years ago I was pregnant and had an abortion behind my boyfriends back. At the time I was 19 and scared and I was pressured into it and I do regret it very much. I KNEW when I did it that he loved children, and that he was against abortion. He even told me that if I ever get pregnant and don't want the baby just give it to him...Anyway 1.5 years ago he found out about the abortion and he was so hurt by it and upset. For the longest it really affected our relationship--a lot of breaks up, fights, etc.Then finally we resolved it in February of this year(after 1.5 years of struggle). Now we are in a good place BUT now things have gotten complicated. To start I'm not on birth control--I've tried several and each one has made me suicidal. So we rely on condoms. I'm against the pullout method because I simply do NOT want to have children anytime soon. And that is how I got pregnant the first time.Back in March when I was very drunk I tried to get him to have sex with me without a condom and told him I wanted a baby, etc. I ALSO told him it feels better without a condom. He got mad at me, told me we need to use a condom etc. I admit that at the time I was feeling guilty about the abortion(happens every now and then) and I wanted a baby but reality has gotten the best of me and we are NOT ready for children.To top off I haven't been able to ever orgasm from sex and we've been together for 5 years. I'm only 23 and he is the only guy I've been with. Sex used to be great for me(though I never orgasmed but came close several times) but due to the series of birth control I have taken which have really messed up my horomes and due to the guilt I have about the abortion, the last 2-3 years have been very bad when it comes to sex. It's painful for me now and I try to avoid it. It usually feels better without a condom, but sometimes it hurts then too.It frustrates my boyfriend because he wants me to orgasm.Anyway with all of this in mind. The last two months he's been trying to have sex with me without a condom. EVEN when he has condoms he tries. A couple of times he just put it in even though I begged him to use a codnom. I have had multiple convo's with him and still nothing has changed. HE says he wants to NOT use a condom because he wants me to cum and says that condoms are painful to me... Ok I get that. But he knows what not using a condom can lead to--pregnancy so I'm not sure why he is doing this...To top off we've had numerous discussions about kids over the last few months because our best friends and his cousins all have kids. and he loves them to death and he always talks about kids. He is 25 so he starting to want to settle down. Everytime the convo gets brought up I tell him I don't want kids and he either gets mad and changes the subject, or moves away from me...He never directly tells me he wants a baby right now, so I'm assuming he doesn't. But as I said the convo's are being brought up more and more and now he doesn't want to use a condom anymore.Is he trying to get me pregnant or am I paranoid?(sorry it's long)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I'm the person who posted this topic.
I don't understand what you mean when you say if I don't give him a baby he'll find someone who will. I'm 23 years old--I'm too young and NOT ready at all for children. And he isn't really either--though he is a lot more ready than I am. He loves me dearly and I HIGHLY doubt that he'll try for a baby elsewhere right now. MY concern is that lately he has NOT wanted to use condoms. This is something new. When we first met his rule was "no glove no love". And we stuck by that rule, except for a few months three years ago which was when I was pregnant. NOW he no longer wants to use condom. And even when we have condoms available he does NOT want to use them. It's beyond ridiculous. And no matter how many times I stress to him I NEED him to use a condom he doesn't "get it". I know he wants me to orgasm(I want to too) but not using a condom is becoming extremely stressful.
A
male
reader, Quiet Guy +, writes (2 June 2010):
If you wont give him what he wants (a baby), trust me, he'll eventually find someone else that will.
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