A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, hoping someone can help me. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years. We met when he was going through a divorce. I stayed by him and have been so patient trying to help him. He's a great guy most of the time, yet I don't feel like I'm special to him. I feel like he's been trying to copy-paste me into his old life with his ex. Everytime we go on vacation or somewhere, he always says this was so much fun, better than with my ex... He cringes at the thought of us getting married or anything and keeps relating everything to his ex. To top it off, I don't feel like he respects me. I feel like he treats me more like a roommate than his girlfriend. This is going to sound so dumb, but he's up allllll night playing video games. Our most recent fight was over this... A 31 yr old, playing video games??? He says it relaxes him, and I let him do it for the first year we were together, thought it would help him deal with his ex. Long term though, I can't keep doing this! It wakes me up when he comes to bed at 2am and turns me into a zombie all day long the next day. I'm a very lite sleeper and we've argued over this numerous times. He won't sleep in another room and won't abide by the comprised agreement we made regarding this. I hate to make such a big deal over it, but I need my sleep!!! I have a career and are working on my masters at night. He just doesn't seem to care though. I'm 25 yrs old, people say I'm attractive, and everyone is telling me he is wrong for me. I love him though, he can be such a wonderful person, just not always to me. I know relationships have their ruts and all, but I've been feeling this way for a long time and I just feel ugly inside and unappreciated. What should I do? Am I kidding myself by being with him? Thank you for your help.
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divorce, his ex, my ex, roommate, video games Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone!
Just wanted to say thank you for your feedback. Me and the jerk I was questioning have broken up! He wasn't over his ex afterall.
Thanks again!
A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 I went on about the gamming situatin and forgot about the references to his ex. was he with her a long time? If so then that could be your problem, mentally we all compare our relationships with past ones, what he is doing is speaking his mind about them. Youcould ask him to keep his comments about his ex to himself, that may help. say you dnt mind him remebering his past as its natural, butou dont need to know your being compared. again you are compromising, but that is what all good relationships are based on. good luck hun xxx
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (18 November 2007):
Hello! My husband is 38 and still plays video games late into the night. However I made rules, which he is to follow or I will nag him untill he gives in to keep the peace :D
Ok I tell him he can play his games, I even get him games for xmas, However he has to end it by midnight. I have in the past set an alarm to go off at 1150pm to remind him he only has ten minites left. You wont stop him playing games, men never grow up like we do, and at least its not a train set in the attic!
Set a time e has to turn it all off. If your letting him do as he like but setting alimit on it, he should agree. Your both getting your own way in the end, just compromising.
If he goes beyond th time you have set, just walze downstairs wearing nothing but his fav neglige' and turn it off at the plug. if you have too you can remove the game station and take it to bed with you. sure he may throw a stop, but you will be making your point Dont say a word to him if you need to do this. do it all in silence wit a smile, if he does getannoyed, point one finger at the clock, smile again and go back to bed.
You need your sleep and he needs boundries xxx
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