A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so this uber uber uber shy guy I asked out at the end of the college semester (last may) is still on my mind. I had asked him out for coffee and a movie and he said "yeah maybe" in an optimistic way (if that makes sense) and I told him to call me and I had previously given him my number on facebook so he said he could look it up instead of me writing it down then and giving it to him. well he never called me.the next day I kind of ignored him to see if he might initiate contact with me first and he didn't. (he usually walked in front of me to get to his seat and he walked right behind me that day.)a week went by and we hadn't spoken... because I wanted to see if he would tell me why he didn't call and nothing. finally near the end of semester I asked him why he never called and he said he couldn't find my number on facebook. but then again my number IS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE...i think he knows that because he got my email address from there without me knowing to send me his story. and he had a week to ask for my number... so why didn't he? we always talk on facebook and joke around and he would tease me and laugh when he saw my expression. and one day I walked out of class and he was right behind me and he lightly hit my backpack with his hat to get my attention and then when I looked back he just smiled. its been a while but I can't get this kid off my mind...we really do have a lot in common and I'm thinking maybe I should try again, but every time I invite him out places he usually ignores my invite. like I invited him to 6 flags cause I had an extra ticket and he was like "oh how did you get that ... did you actually pay for it?" and I said no cause it was a buy one get one free and then he never responded.then in august i was having a conversation with him and one of my friends he never met before on facebook and I invited the other guy and called him by a nickname... well the guy I like thought I was asking him and he says "oh are you talking to me? I've never been to the ren faire." and so I invite him and he never responds. am I missing something...is he just too shy to go out or is he just not interested? from what I've said about him can someone interpret his behavior? I'm really into this guy. OBVIOUSLY. but anyway (plus I usually invite him to hang out in a small group of my friends... he doesn't know them and he also does seem to have some social anxiety...maybe that could be part of it?)oops I almost forgot an important part. I had asked him if had actually wanted to go to coffee then... and he responded "no, not *then* I didn't." I'm confused... eh...then back in november he had asked me over facebook if me or my friend were going to this cannibal corpse show in madison which is an hour from where i live. i said i hadn't even known about it and he said "oh i don't want to go alone. it would be nice to have someone i know there." was this an indirect invite or am i reading into it too much?well anyway... i went to this concert with him and another guy friend. my other guy friend left us alone basically and the guy I like and I got into a water fight and poured water on each other and I was making him laugh a lot. and since I was standing behind him he would always turn around and smile really big at me during the concert. and when we went to hug goodbye he poured water all down my back so I tackled him and poured the rest on him. when he would talk he would also kinda cover his mouth so I told him to stop doing that and he laughed but he did stop covering his mouth. and whenever I would lean in to tell him somthing he would lean away so I told him to stop and jokingly said its not like I have a disease. so he laughed and stopped and whenever I would say something from then on he would lean closer to hear me. and at one point I was a person behind him during the concert and he looked back and motioned for me to get closer. I don't know, my other friends think he likes me because he was flirting back.then a few weeks after this happened we were talking on facebook messenger which he hardly ever does and he was drinking nyquil and redbull - don't ask me why he is kinda strange. he was being really loopy but part of the conversation went like this (he said something immature that made me laugh)me: and how old are you?him: 10 (actually 18) me: wow I feel like a pedophilehim: I won't press charges... him: wait you haven't done anything for me to press charges forme: not that I haven't thought about ithim: actions are different than thoughts...OK so WTF? haha also at one point he said he was lonely and that girls were teases and very coy. so he sometimes can't tell if a girl likes him. and so I was like... wow... damn... if you haven't noticed by now... your completely dense... and he said "i notice things" but I don't know if he meant that about me.also he was talking to one of his friends about the concert and he happened to mention me a few times. and I had given him my drinking wristband so he could get drinks because they carded me wrong and gave me one. he was still wearing it a day later.he also told his friend (a girl) that he would have had two momentos because he wanted to keep the water bottle but "he had to get me back..." so he kept the water bottle cap.we were talking about hanging out over christmas but that never happened for some reason.but for the past 2 months he hasn't been logging onto facebook. he finally logged in one day and i asked him why and he said it was boring and irritating and it "devoured his essence" lol so i don't really get to talk to him on there anymore. so the only way i get to talk to him since he lives in a different city for college is that if i text him. which he usually ALWAYS texts me back if i text him but he never texts me first. so in conclusion... i haven't had a real crush on a guy in YEARS this guy is the first guy i asked out in 6 years! it takes a lot to peak my interest and he has my interest obviously. my question is can someone interpret his behavior from all that i've said? is this worth pursuing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (30 March 2011):
You may not want to hear it but he just doesn't sound interested. He's had a lot of chances and hasn't made a move in that time. It sounds like he thinks of you as more of a friend. Also if I'm honest you seem to be reading a lot into fairly minor things. Like the fact he was talking about the concert and mentioned you a few times, which would make sense seeing as you went with him but doesn't suggest any romantic feelings.I'll admit that some of his behaviour is confusing but that just makes him sound too immature for a relationship. I'd suggest you try and forget about him in that way, otherwise I think you'll just end up wasting your time. If you want to make sure once and for all though you'll have to ask him straight out.
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