A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is starting to really annoy me. He phones and texts me ALL the time, and tells me he loves me and that i'm perfect and the hottest girl he has ever seen and stuff like that.It was really nice at first, but now i'm being put off a little bit and I don't want to be put off, as I really do like him.I think maybe that I have commitment issues, and I need to learn how to deal with it or overcome it.To be honest, this guy is amazing and I really don't want to loose him due to my issues.And on top of all that, I'm starting to wonder if he's only saying all those things to me to get me to sleep with him. I'm quite confused.What do you think I should do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 I'm a man and I will give you an opinion from the other side of the fence. Men who become clingy belong to two categories: the sick ones, or the insecure and very loving ones. I suppose that sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but it exists.
I have the strong feeling that your boyfriend belongs in the second category. He doesn't want to lose you at all, and he thinks he needs to do something "bloody spectacular" (in the wonderful definition I found in another post) to make you "see" how good he is, and to make you "not to want to lose him".
That doesn't mean he can't become a nuisance. I think he needs reassurance; if you give him that, maybe with a small text message a day, or a wonderful meeting off and on, that will appease his insecurity.
Now, don't think that a man will say "I love you" with the sole purpose of taking you to bed. The truth is, even the ones who won't say "I love you" want to sleep with you. So, this is not a reason to doubt his intentions.
I tend to agree with knowthyselfandmoveon. Maybe you feel insecure about yourself and don't believe him when he says he loves you. Perhaps this is reflected in the way you behave with him, he senses it -but cannot really explain what is going on- and he reacts by becoming clingy.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Gosh your guy is really into you, Lucky you. No but seriously you should point out to him gently, can he call/text you every couple of days or so, reassure him that you really like him and that you can't always get back to him immediately as you are busy and not always available to answer his calls.
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A
female
reader, knowthyselfandmoveon  +, writes (5 August 2007):
I wish I had your problem. The guy I am seeing hardly ever calls or contacts me. *sigh*
It seems to me like you don't really believe you are as good as you he thinks you are.
I say appreciate what you got, sometimes you don't value what you have until you loose it. Don't let it get there.
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