A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I posted a couple of days ago about how confused I was at the fact that the guy I've been seeing just stopped texting and calling as much as he used to.I took people's advice and texted him asking how he was after a couple of days of not talking, and he told me he's been in bed with Swine Flu.So I immediately thought oh ok, that's a viable excuse, but then I later realized that he's most probably lying to me. I checked his Facebook profile and he'd been active on it, writing comments and posting links in the 2 days that he hadn't contacted me, meaning if he had the energy to go on Facebook he could have found 30 seconds to send me a text right?Secondly, Swine Flu has pretty much died down in England, I read that there's about 9,000 current cases so the chances he's got it are pretty much nil.Anyway, I haven't contacted him since Tuesday after I told him to just get in contact when he's better.What I want to know is is the guy testing me or has he lost interest?I feel he could be testing to see how I react when he doesn't talk to me for a few days, to found out if I'm needy or naggy and pass the desperate test so to speak, because he did mention to me that his ex girlfriend was super clingy. And part of me thinks that he hasn't lost interest in me because if he had he wouldn't have replied right?I just feel like he's avoiding me, and I'm not really sure why, because me and him were going really really great and he'd expressed a lot of interest in me, told me 2010 would be our year, and then all of a sudden he does a disappearing act.Please help me shed some light on the situation and advise me on what to do and how to react.Thank you x
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female
reader, Sarah2485 +, writes (7 January 2010):
 I wouldn't contact him.. you have done the first moves and have told him to contact you when he is feeling better...
he will probably get scared off if you ask too many questions about where you both are going and what he wants! i know happened to me recently!
Play it cool go have fun, if he gets in contact great.. if not move on your young.. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): You could try one last time to find out. Let him know that you are confused with this sudden disappearance and would like to know if there is anything you guys need to talk about. He may lie... or avoid you again... but may be you need to do this for closure. Unless there is something that can be sorted.
Then, if he is avoiding you, you can do nothing except hold on to your dignity and move on.
If he is testing you are better off not contacting him anyway.
After one contact, either way you leave him alone. There is no real commitment so if you do meet someone, say, after two or three weeks of this, feel free to make plans with them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): I think I would take him at his word and he is home ill with the flu.
I think you will just have to wait and see none of us know if he is testing you or if he has lost interest.
All I can say is you will have better success if you don't take on the role of a girlfriend who calls all of the time to check up on him or whatever until he asks you to be exclusive.
You have to assume that he is seeing others and you should not be putting all your focus on this one guy or you will be clingy and needy and worse, anxiously checking Facebook and waiting for the phone to ring.
He's home in bed sick, unavailable to see you. Why are you sitting around wondering about him, go out and do what you want to do....a movie a date, work out, restaurant, library, what ever...just be busy with your own life and you might have something interesting to say when he gets back to you.
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