A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:hiI have been married for 25 years and with my partner for 27 years. there have been problems for many years but i was not prepared to leave while my children were at home. my daughter left home 4 years ago and I finally had the courage to leave on Nov 27th 09 but i found being on my own so difficult and I missed the lifestyle I had and my daughter was so nasty towards me as she was a daddy's girl and felt I left her even though she has her own marriage and children.I came back on xmas eve to try and sort things out but she still won't talk to me and says her mum must have a screw loose. The thing is I still have the same feelings that I had before I left if not more as I dont feel this is my home. We have said that we will sell up and buy somewhere else and start again but I am not sure this will work. I just cannot help getting this feeling that I should have stayed away and have just made thing harder to get away this time.Don't get me wrong, I do have feeling for my wife but I don't think they are strong enough to last another 27 years. I have never loved her in the respect of going to the ends of the earth for her. She got pregnant 12 months after we met and we were married 12 months later. I am now 47 and she is 63 and I dont know if I have the strength to start again at my time of life or whether I should just carry on as before. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your comments .Yes i have told my wife for maybe the last 15 years about her hygene and tryed not to make it sound darrogatry and she always says she will change but soon falls back in to her was saying that its because she is comfortable with her life. We have discussed all our down falls and things dont seem to change for more than a week or two.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (8 January 2010):
Those are solveable problems. Have you tried telling her that you have an issue with the hygiene etc.? A lot of men think someone should just automatically know what they like and don't like but women are not clairvoyants. Sometimes its best to say specifically, including about your friends.
In your case, couple's counseling would work best. Since you are already back then you might as well try counseling then raise all these issues.
As for your daughter, it appears that she may have been the one left to emotionally support your wife when you left her, and perhaps she had you on a pedestal until the separation. In time, she will adjust her attitude so give her time. Maybe since she is an adult you can also tell her what bothers you about your marriage. I think the age you got with your wife may also be a factor. You had barely experienced life at 20 and over time, that can make a person feel trapped. I hope you seek counseling first before you decide to quit.
All the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell it is many things from clenlyness (ie personal hygine and household ) sex is not the problem yes attiude towards friends so they no longer visit as i feel she dose this to keep me to herself as she has always been a jelous person ( typical scorpio ) she blames this on being an only child.and never having to share.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (7 January 2010):
From your ages it seems your relationship started when you were 20 and she was 36? Can you be more specific about what the problem you have with her is? Is it sex? Does she have a bad attitude??....
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