A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 year-old and my boyfriend is just a year older than me. We've been going steady with our relationship of one and a half year until a very strange issue cropped up a week before.My boyfriend has all of a sudden started behaving very abnormally, he's not his usual self anymore. He is sort of avoiding me! The frequency of his calls has diminished, we meet less often and moreover, when I complain, he says that he needs space! He's got plenty of time for his daily regime and even friends, but me! And I provide him with enough space since the beginning of our relationship. What makes me all the more baffled is that he has excuses lined up for each action of his. And the excuses aren't quite consistent. He blames everything on his illness. Well, he's been suffering from a mental ailment since the last month and is on medication. Everything was fine until the doctor changed his pill just a week back. My boyfriend claims that it has got side effects like nausea, sleeplessness, loss of memory, weight gain and so on.The bit that he's unwell and on pills is true, but the excuse for his altered behavior being the pill is something which I can't accept.I'm always plagued by the thought of him cheating on me as I can clearly see his interest abruptly flagging from me. Once he had tried to carry on a clandestine affair with my friend and got caught. Sometimes, it gets hard for me to believe that he's the same person whom I'd loved so dearly. He never gives a proper explanation. Even I've tried confronting him that if he's fallen for someone else he can admit and we can mend ways. But this effort too went in vain as he kept on mumbling "I swear by God that I love you, get rid of this baseless suspicion...I know I had committed a grave mistake in the past, but that doesn't mean that I would repeat it over and over again."Am torn apart between whether he's telling the truth or cheating on me once again. Please, suggest what should be my next course of action. Please, reply at the earliest. Thanks a lot for your patience to read such a long post and utilizing your precious time to lend a helping hand. :)
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affair, I love you, needs space, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, I would like to thank both of you.
Your help has provided the much needed relief in such a situation where everything seemed to be confusing.
I have checked his pills and their side effects.
My boyfriend was right... I was too restless to let myself fall into the cloud of suspicion again. I even broke into his Facebook and email accounts, found nothing suspicious. Neither his call records or messages sent the alarm bells ringing. He even showed me photographs of his group hanging out on the days as was specified by him earlier. Moreover, I had made it clear to him that if this excuse episode is stretched too far, he won't find me by his side anymore.
Well, it was majorly his behavioral change that had triggered the conflict between us; now it being getting back into the normal track, I have restored the peace of mind.
I feel genuinely apologetic because this time he was speaking the truth and I didn't confide in him.
I have now realized that his past misdeed was indeed hard for me to get over, although I had seemed to be moving on steadily. But to err is man, I've forgiven himself whole-heartedly and have no more grudges against him. Now, all I want is to get rid of these negative feelings and believe in my man as am sure that HE is my soul mate.
Thanks again,
Ruhie.
A
male
reader, Cutless  +, writes (18 June 2012):
A cheat wil always cheat,tell him that if he dont change his ways and come back to his old self that you wil walk away without looking back,do it and see how it will work,but if you feel he is cheatin (with a good evidence) break up with him
best of luck
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A
female
reader, Sammia  +, writes (18 June 2012):
There are side affects to all medication, he is telling the truth on this. These pills do change people, their attitude, their actions and even their feelings. However only you know what is going on trust your instincts. Trust is an important factor in a relationship if you lose that you lose your relationship. The medication could also be confusing him that's why his excuses/explanations seem untrue. You need to seriously think things true before you act. Go on a website for mental health issues where you can find out more information on the illness and the pills.
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