A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI'm very confused by my boyfriends behavior recently. We've only been officially together for just over a month but I met him 3 months ago which I know is still no time at all but I've fallen hard and I thought it was mutual. Firstly I haven't seen him now for 2 weeks, since he gave his dog to me (he's moving and couldn't take him with him so I offered to take him in) That night he sprung on me he was going away for the weekend and since then he's been quiet. I eventually texted him after 5 days of no contact and things seemed ok but he avoided any question I asked about his trip. I let it go and then no contact from him for a few more days so I text him again, he replied all normal and we agreed to meet this week either Wednesday or Thursday, Wed came and I didn't hear from him so I figured we must be meeting up Thursday(tonight)I text him that I missed him and did he fancy meeting up still and he replied with "I miss you too but sorry my mates having a crisis gotta go help him out but def get together soon" I text back something bright and breezy as though it was no big deal even tho I'm gutted. I get that he's got a lot on his plate right now with moving and he also has a kid but come on is a few hours out of a week too much to expect? Is he taking me for a fool or am I being needy and pathetic? I'm so confused. HELP!
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (16 November 2012):
 Enjoy the wine. Been there. Sorry you had to go there too. Sometimes we just don't know until we know, no matter who tells us what. Learning first hand hurts but is memorable and should prevent you from making the same mistake, again.
For what it's worth, he DOES have a lot of problems but you should consider yourself lucky that he's NOT one of YOUR problems. Because, trust me, he would be.
Cheers and enjoy the music.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I decided to ignore all that great advice you lovely people gave me and just see what happened and guess what I'm now sitting here wine in hand with a very heavy heart and a new found love of Heart radio. Yep it ended but then I guess you all saw that coming a mile off while I was there making any excuse under the sun for his behavior. Anyway today I received "that" text (only after ignoring my text's and calls for a few days i should add) saying that he's very sorry but there's stuff he hasn't told me and he's not in the right place for a relationship right now and he needs to get his head straight blah blah blah (I guess I should consider myself one of the lucky ones really, I hear sometimes they just do a disappearing act) Even tho he's done this I still kinda find myself thinking he'll come to his senses and like a scene from the movies he'll turn up outside my house making some grand gesture of love, how he can't live without me and breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of his life... This isn't gona happen, I know that deep down. He couldn't even be arsed to text back half the time so I know grand gestures are well out of the question.
Anyway ladies if anyone else is in this similar situation may I advise you to run, run like you've never run before, don't look back and from now only give your time to someone who deserves it and appreciates it but if like me you decide to hang in there and hope for the best then I wish you nothing but happiness and hope it works out for you.
Ps Thanks for the free therapy dearcupid.org :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 September 2012):
 Seems like you gained a dog and lost a BF...
He doesn't seem interested at all. I personally find it odd that he hasn't at least checked in with you about his dog. I tell you if ANYONE was watching my kids or fur-kids I would call them daily. If that person was someone I dated I would definitely call at least twice a day.
Seems like he is taking FULL advantage of you. Now he has a free dog-sitter and can do as he please. And whenever it's convenient for him to get her dog, I'm sure he will show up long enough to pick the dog up.
I would honestly stop contacting him and see how long it will take.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2012): Dont contact him again, if he can treat you like this at this early stage of the relationship, he is not serious about you. He is using you. Dont take his call, sms etc. Just move on. After all he created the distance you just continue with it. Find someone that can respect you and someone you deserve.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 September 2012):
I agree that he doesn't appear interested in you. I too know this is not what you want to hear.
Look at it this way though, you've only invested a brief amount of time with this guy. He could easily give up his dog (not sure how long he had the dog), he doesn't seem like a good guy to me. Had I given up my dog I'd have at least called to ask about him.
You could put yourself through a bunch of why's, what happened (he doesn't want a reminder of the dog he gave up, he's busy, his mate is having problems) but the fact is that if he wanted to see you, he would have called and he would have made time for you.
I hope you enjoy the dog and that the dog is good company. You got this gift from the relationship-and I think it was the best part.
Please don't contact him again and if he contacts you, think of something clever to say like "I can't thank you enough for Fido, we're doing great. Oh hey I'm not interested in getting together again. Fido and I are going for a walk now so I gotta run."
Please move on and find someone you don't have to analyze behavior for. There's many great guys out there. For what it's worth, you got the best dog.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 September 2012):
 You are not being needy. It is absolutely normal to want to see the person you care about. Apparently, the feeling is not mutual or he would make time for you.
If I was going through this, I think I would tell him that it seems as if he is no longer interested because communication is rare and he doesn't seem interested in actually dating you, so it is probably best you don't see each other anymore. I know this is hurtful for you, but it seems he is keeping you hanging by a string. I have known men like this and it is very unsettling. You never know exactly where you stand with them, but when you get realistic with yourself you actually do.
After not having communicated with you or keeping your date, it doesn't seem like he is interested to me. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it's better for you to move on from him than keep hanging on.
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