A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and I (been together for 1.5 yrs) were watching a sad movie last week and while watching it he was typing on his laptop. I looked over at one point and he was clearly crying, which he denied. I just wrote it off like it was maybe the movie and he didn't want to admit it. That day he acted a little off and that night slept on the couch saying he couldn't get to sleep. Come to find out, he had been typing an email to a family member about the sadness he felt while he had been married and why he left. I realized by the date and time on the email (he printed it and left it on the printer) that it was during the movie this was being written. Why is it that 1.5 years later, while with me, he is still explaining his feelings around his divorce, justifying it to others and crying while typing it? Is he not over it? Does it still make him sad? Should I be feeling like he is still emotionally attached to his past life ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): If hes still explaining it to others and crying while hes doing it then hes still be emotionally attached. The tears would be a clue. Men dont normally cry easily. As he was typing he probably wasnt concentration fully on the film so i doubt that would have caused him to cry. Why he should leave a printed copy on the printer is a mystery, unless he was hoping you would find it and speak to him about it. Prehaps he needs to talk. 1.5 years is little time to get over a divorce. It can take years for some to fully recover. Some never do. I met my partner a year after he had split up with his wife. A year into our relationship he told me he still loved her. So after 2 years he was still attached. Theyve been apart 4 years now and he doesnt see her at all now even tho it means not seeing his children either. Its made him and the children very unhappy but he says its the only way to get over her and move on. I wouldnt like to stake my life on him wanting me if she ever became available again. It can take a long time and a lot of love and patience from a new partner for some to recover. Show him the email and ask if he wants to talk about it and see if hes honest or just blames the film x
A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Well, he left it on the printer so it doesn't seem like he is making great strides to hide what he's feeling (although he denied crying). Maybe he wanted you to see it...
But, he is speaking negatively about he marriage. he may not have properly dealt with his feeling surrounding it and the divorce, but it doesn't seem like he is still interested in his ex-wife.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 He is definately not over his past relationship/marriage. Some people take longer to move on after a break up. I mean, how long ago did the marriage dissolve and how soon did the two of you start seeing each other in relation to his divorce? These are all key points to keep in mind when measuring the mourning process of a past relationship. If you love this guy, you probably need to give him alot more time to get over his ex. My b/f took about 4 years of our 5 year relationship, and alot of patience on my part.
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