A
male
age
30-35,
*angarch
writes:Hey everyone..I'm in a big mess right now..and i need help getting out of this depression!I know that this is a bit long..but plz have the patience to read the whole thing!Thanks!:)My relationship of 2+ years ended exactly a month back! She was my first gf and i wanted her to be my last too.. cuz i wanted to be with only one girl for the rest of my life!I was the one who broke up with her.. and everyone who knows this had just one thing to say to me.."u took so long to do this?"Too be very short, if you want to know what all i went thru.. i'll surely post it)i was in a emotionally abusive relationship!:(I loved her more than my life.. and trust me if i had to i would have surely even given my life for her! I considered her my wife.. and i wanted to get married to her when we finished our studies! But she was the exact opposite of what i was! She made me cry almost every day for 2 whole years.. she blamed me all the time.. even for the mistakes she made! she used me so much!! she was rude, mean and selfish.. Everything should have revolved around her! And when our relationship started she even cheated on me.. but i loved her so much that i forgave her!!She made me stop talking to my friends.. cuz she didn't like them and also cuz one of them was a girl who had feelings for me!After pulling myself together.. with a lot of courage i broke up!! It tore me inside.. but i did it cuz i knew she would never change.. and i would never be happy in my life! My family and friends told me i did one thing right in 2 years.. that is breaking up with her (they had seen me cry every day and seen what a puppet i was to her) They all told me to never think of her and spend more time with freinds.. and i tried to do that!For the first week i cried.. but then i started seeing how much better my life was without her!and for the past 4 weeks i've been successful in not thinking about her that much!But now.. i don't know why.. i can't seem to get her out of my head! Every single moment i spent with her was VERY precious to me.. i don't know if she felt the same way.. but every time i kissed her.. i would get goosebumps! For some reason i miss holding her hand.. i miss how i could tell her anything i wanted(not that she would be interested to listen) but still i had someone whom i could tell anything and be so close to! i miss making out with her!! And i know i shouldn't.. cuz after all the pain she has given me..i shouldn't!!Also when i come across her face (on facebook) My whole world goes upside down!!:((For some odd reason i start missing her.. which i know i shudn't!! Her face reminds me of how i used to hold her tight and kiss her.. and i feel like doing that again! and its killing me that i feel this way!!Cuz..after all the pain she has given me.. i shud feel disgusted by her face.. not attracted to it!plz help me guys..what can i do now?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 The best thing that I can think is for you to keep busy as much possible so that you don't have time to dwell on the situation. If you do then talk to your friends about and realizing that they are there for you to listen over and over again should help. Get back out there and meet people, if a new girl catches your attention don't hold back, you have alot of love that has to go somewhere.
A
male
reader, aangarch +, writes (2 February 2010):
aangarch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys!:)I feel a lil better now!
But if u don't mind could u give me a detailed way how to cope with this depression of mine?Plz..
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A
female
reader, redpopstick  +, writes (1 February 2010):
Hi, sorry to hear you went through this. Deep down you know your relationship is bad for you, and she'd never treat you like you deserve. Cut all contact, delete her number, block her on facebook, and promise yourself you'll never search or check up on her. You'll never get over it otherwise. Everybody misses the intimacy of a relationship, but do you want to cry every day for the rest of your life? The best thing to do is not see getting back with her as an option, she treat you like dirt because she knew you'd forgive her, but you did the right thing ending it. You probably feel bad as you ended it and not her, but eventually you'll see really your relationship could never work long term. One month is early days - give it at least 6/7 monthes and concentrate on regaining the friends and the life you lost before her and you'll notice how great you life actually is without her.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (1 February 2010):
You have to realize that the feelings that you are expressing here are on a one way street. She will never give you the love you deserve no matter how hard you try and I think that you know this. I understand how you feel, you're able to look past so much negative and see the postive, what little there is in her. She doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone who will return the powerful feelings that you have. You are right that you need to spend time with your friends but also get back out there and date. You will see that there are girls out there that are so much better for you. Then when you can focus your attention on someone else the pain will go away. Until then be strong, I had the same issue with one of my ex gf's where she isolated me from my friends and broke my heart over and over again till I had the courage to end it. The grass is greener with out her and you don't have to trust me but this is exactly what your friends and family are telling you.
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