A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:last year i found that my boyfriend was texting and meeting another girl we managed to put it behind us but 6 weeks later i found he was doing it again with the same girl. i comfronted him but he said she was ugly and it was nothing more than a freindship. he thinks i have forgivn him and i have in some ways because i dont want t lose him. my problem is i often wonder if he is still doing it and im still very hurt by the way he has treated me. i cant talk to him about it as he will most likely hit me. i'm finding it really hard as ilove him very much and we have a 3 year old daughter.
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (2 June 2007):
 He should have told you who he was meeting up with. He's toying with you, and it's time for you to get your kid and move on.
DV1
A
female
reader, cleo1312 +, writes (1 June 2007):
thats what my man said about the witch he cheated on me with and she is ugly as well doesnt make no difference the minute you foind those texts the relationship was destroyed, as for him hitting you totally unacceptable getting rid of him will be hard especially as youve got a kid together but you dont want her to grow up thinking violence is the norm, best of luck and you will need to turn to your family and friends to get you through this.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 June 2007):
 He tells you his friends are 'ugly' and then hits you if you challenge him. Why would you settle for such a relationship? I cannot tell you if he cheated or is cheating with other girls but I don't even think that is the main issue here. You have a relationship with no trust and a history of violence. As a mother you have a responsibility to protect the interests of your child and she shouldn't be brought up in an environment of domestic violence and mistrust because it will have major implications for the sort of relationships she has with men when she is older. Walk away from this guy and find someone who treats you with respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Walk away from this.
You need someone who can communicate with you as well as someone you can trust. Yes some people can survive an affair together but it takes alot to regain the hurt parties trust and frankly if you feel he is liable to hit you if you talk to him then thats just the kicker you need to boot him to the curb.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 June 2007):
 To be brutally honest with you the alarm bells should have been ringing the first time round. Then you forgave him and he went and betrayed your trust again. All that oh she is ugly business is all a ploy to throw you off the scent, he woulden't keep having flings with her is that were the case. I think he is playing you for a fool and that you can do so much better than him.
When you said your affraid to talk to him incase he hits you makes me think you should get out even more so. I know its hard, but don't just stay with him for the sake of your young daughter, the likellhood is this guy won't change. You need someone that shows you the love and respect that you so rightly derserve.
Good luck x
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