A
female
age
41-50,
*J_JJ
writes:i am on date with a guy thought by dating internet, we both keep on touch around 2 years, but we never meet in real, 2 years before, he plan visit me, wanted to meet in real to start a relationship with me, but the time I am not yet ready to start relationship with him, I scare, I wonder a lot, after I desire better took time to reconsider about it again, I took half year to think again again, during the time, I support to give him answer, but I don’t give the respond. During this half year, I don’t keep touch or chat with him.But on last year 2010, we keep in touch back, after we desire to be together as this moment until we do real meet, he told me, he always thinks I is his choice.but at the moment we are still quite good of (net relationship) we online chat all the weekend, if i send him sms , he sure respond.but he like to asked me do i have any news on the week. he would like to know what happenning. he also invite me to his country.....other .....one more thing , is i am offcial married. he know,i told him in advance.but he say he dont mind. he still wanted to be with meHe told me he plan come on November or Dec on 2010, but after he no come, but now he again say he will come on Easter holiday on 2011. I wonder again, he will come? But when I asked him did he look for flight, but he say not yet, he told me flight is too expensive when on DEC. but when I asked him, does he really come on this Easter day, he say yes, but have to look at the flight price and the time and also the leave, is could be maybe no come again, but he still asked me wait, he sure come he come, asked me wait, my mind is if he does not look for flight, how can he know when got time, right?but Should I tell him, if Easter holiday he desires no come again, I don’t want to wait, should I tell this to him?My worries are if I told him, maybe he will say I am not patient to wait for him coming. Should I ask?I am don’t want to wait again, is getting old. I want to settle down, is show I am selfish?On messagers normally he chat with me automatically, he is the one always say hi to me at first. Does show he sincere to me?my question is, does he sincere with me? should I wait for him until the Easter days he visit me or I should tell him first? if he no come , should i angry him ? or just dont keep on touch with him? I don’t want to wait again?if someone wanted to come from Europe, need few months to plan coming Asia? or is diffciult to get flight?or i should go visit him?Please help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Your his first choice but the flight is too expensive, sure. I think he means he's not willing to pay x amount for sex or he just likes the idea of someone idealizing him from afar. Unless you are rich and famous, it's far fetched someone from another country is taking a married lady he has never met very seriously. Chatrooms don't count as dates either.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Wait. "one more thing , is i am offcial married. he know,i told him in advance.but he say he dont mind. he still wanted to be with me"
Where is your husband?
Why do you say "I am don’t want to wait again, is getting old. I want to settle down, is show I am selfish?" If you are married, what has happened to your husband and why are you 'dating' a man on the internet?
This sounds like an unpromising start of a good relationship to me. I think it would be wise of you to deal with your marriage first and look locally for actually available men who don't need to spend a fortune in plane tickets just to meet in person. This is building a fantasy relationship on a foundation of sand. Not wise.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Yes you do clearly need help - Sorry, but this going to be very direct and to the point, as I want you to see that having virtual communication for two years, without ever meeting is a NOT a relationship. This is very, very unhealthy for you to think it is.
I realize in different cultures females are brought up to aspire to different lifestyles, have different expectations, but honestly at your age, 30-35 you need to take stock of your life, and frankly not be so gullible.
97% of internet relationships fail at the first hurdle, meaning IF the two people meet, as one is never wholly honest, the internet encourages that, anyone can be who they want. You know nothing of this man's real life, and I suspect he's married, and in his spare time away from mundane family duties, he communicates with you, someone who is in awe of him, provides him with an ego boost, whilst he keeps his everyday life behind closed doors.
Please, please do something more valuable with your time and life than communicating with this man. If you use the internet, why not put it to some real GOOD USE, apply for an online degree course to educate yourself further, so you don't need to wait for any man, you have independence for yourself, as I somehow think right now this is not you.
How old is this man, well the age he tells you, and WHY hasn't he met you before now??? I know this is really upsetting you, but 'REALITY' must set in, and you must take a step back and look at this logically, not through a rose tinted computer screen.
Get a real life, not a virtual one, do all you can to make your life good in all the ways you can, free yourself from 'waiting for any man' and once you do, you are more likely to secure yourself what you want from life.
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