A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started hooking up with this guy a little over a month ago. We were hanging out like 3 times a week then about a week ago we were together and he admitted that he liked me more than a friends with benefits. After that he didn't talk to me for a week, it was like he shyed away. We also work together and we were on the same shift last night and he was on top of me the whole time. After work he went out and I went home and at 2am he called me a bunch of times. I responded this morning and asked if he wanted to get together tonight since I was sleeping last night. All he responded with was no. I didn't say anything back because to be honest I was a little upset. I mean is he shying away more or does he honestly not want to hook up anymore? I know this is something I should prob ask him myself but I just wanted some input. Thanks in advance!
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (15 August 2012):
 First of all...do you want more or do you just want "hooking up"? If he likes you more than just a friend with benefits, and you haven't responded in kind, he may be wondering whether it was a good thing that he spilled his feelings to you. He may be questioning what exactly you want. If he thinks you only want sex, he could be keeping his distance because he admitted he wants more and you haven't reciprocated the feeling.
What I'm trying to say is that if you only want sex, and he wants more, he is only going to be hurting himself if he continues to have sex with you and no relationship.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (15 August 2012):
 Key fact missing here is the guy's age and level of maturity. If he is (or acts) the same age as you, there is a good possibility that he really has no idea just how to carry on from here. Having disclosed his feelings toward you may have taken all the courage he can muster right now.
Also, you do not say what your response to him was. If you were warm and inviting, it is unusual behavior indeed. If you acted disinterested or skeptical, expressing reservations about moving forward with him, then frankly you probably frightened him.
Or maybe a mix of the two. But you are right, the best course is for you to take the initiative and try to get him to talk about his interest in you and then about his reaction to you. You two need to come to some arrangement that you both can live with.
Oh. I have assumed that neither of you is actively interested in anyone else. If that is NOT the case, you could well have the answer right there.
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