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Is he serious about a relationship, or should I just enjoy the sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I had a fling with a cool guy about 6 years ago. We were never bf/gf but we really liked eachother and enjoyed hangin out. (Sex, Sex and more SEX)

I returned home and we text the next few days. He hasn't called on the phone and has only left me texts.Then a day went by without hearing from him and I thought, this is ridiculous why am i letting this bother me. I should just own the weekend, enjoy the AMAZING sed we had and get on with it. Well just when I think he's a prick and he just said all this stuff about getting serious with someone, and didn't contact me for 2days, he text me just now....xoxoxoxoxo hope youre havin a great day"

Whats up? Is he totally playin me? Should I just enjoy the sex, or is he really serious about having a relationship?

View related questions: hasn't called, text

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (16 May 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

I think you are not seeing the reality here. He has convinced you that it is just a sexual relationship and you almost bought it. But you really dont believe that, otherwise you wouldnt be writing in here.

If you want a relationship you will have to ask him if he is interested in being a couple, at the moment he seems perfectly happy with just the sex.

But be prepared for a letdown, he may not think it worth it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

See how jumping into sex too soon screws things up? Women are emotional and do not see sex the same way men do. No matter how hard we try, we are going to put some sort of emotional context to it. However, DO NOT call him when you don't hear from him. If you bring up "the talk" he may freak out and not hear from him for a while. Let him gather his thoughts after you talk about it.

Also, I've dealt with a texter. It's annoying. Tell him that although you enjoy his texts, it's best to reach you by phone.

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A female reader, mylonleyself United States +, writes (15 May 2008):

mylonleyself agony auntWell, you know, guys don't need to call us 24/7... Two days isn't that bad, now if it were a week and then he sends you a text, that is a different story. I don't think he is playing you. You guys never had a relationship to start with anyways, you are just sex buddies. He text you because you are his buddy, I see no harm done in that, asking you how was your day. And if he telled you he is heading for a serious relationship is either because he thinks you are falling in love with him or because he is and wants you to know that before anything else. You are just a friend to him.. talk with him about your feelings, I think you might be starting to be in love with him. Talking to him will clear things out and make you feel more at ease and he will decide what to do regarding your situation. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

why does not hearing from him for TWO days mean he's playin you? maybe he wants things to move slowly, be cool. Its too soon to know. Does he expect you to check in with him everyday? Ask yourself why this bothers you so much

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

Ask him, then you'll be sure. I'm a bit worried though that all your emphasis is on what he wants. You don't seem to mind if he wants to be serious or if he wants to have sex. How much do you like this guy. Aren't you interested in being in love with to a guy who loves you and makes a committment to you. It's like you couldn't care either way. Maybe you should forget about this guy and look for someone that you feel more passionate about.

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