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female
,
anonymous
writes: hi, i have a problem....my boyfreind is always choosing his freinds over me where if we'er hanging out he'll leave me and hang with them. like once he was coming to hang out with me then he called and said he's gunna be late cuz he's with his freinds..then he makes his freind call to tell me that he wants to hang out with him and if i can hang out with him later and i hear him in the backgroung laughing. i felt like a dumbass, i think he only hangs with me when he wants to but asoon has his freinds call him he leaves me and go to them. is it wrong to feel jealous? but then i dun't wanna say anything cuz i dun't wnat to make him think i want him to choice between me and his friends. i think he doesnt regard my feelings when he does things he only thinks of his own. what should i do????????
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female
reader, anastasia +, writes (30 May 2006):
Hes definatley taking you for granted and is a bit complacent about the relationship. I think you should try being a little less available for him, for example one out of every three times he wants to meet say your busy, Maybe out with the girls, visiting relatives or something. If you try and discuss it he will probably think your being controlling and get scared! .If being elusive fails then he's not that intrested and not worth it. Its his problem not yours, you are probably better off with out him and looking for someone better.
A
female
reader, poison_0250 +, writes (30 May 2006):
 That's a very hard situation sweetie,but you must face it if you love him,i advice you to enjoy the same thing enjoy your friends, because there will come a time your guy will get bored of his friends and will miss you,let him do what he want to do...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006): Do the same thing to him! I know it sounds like I'm telling you to play games but let him know how it feels. Get your friends to do the same thing and make him feel as second rate as he's making you feel! Go out with your friends and don't call him at all. If he is hanging out with his mates 3 times this week, hang out with yours 5 times. No matter how much he begs that he wants to see you say you have plans that you're not going to break. He'll soon realise he can't just see you when he wants to and it's important for the both of you to make time for each other. Trust me this is trialed and proven by many friends of mine.
PS. Be patient though, he might even enjoy this 'new arrangement' to begin with but trust me soon he will appreciate you on a whole new level!
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (30 May 2006):
 Guys have to have some time with their mates. But this situation is pretty unfair on you.
He sounds a bit immature to me, I mean, what sort of guy gets their mates to call their girlfriend to say they are going to be late etc? Pretty silly immature stuff.
I think that you have a right to talk to him about it - you are not making him choose between you and his mates. He can have both, he just needs to manage his time better and treat you with more respect.
If he is going to be late to see you or needs to cancel a date, he should call, not his friends.
If he has made time to see you, he shouldn't cancel just to hang out with his mates. He should allocate time to see his mates and time to see you.
Most guys manage this concept very well - they see their mates at some stages throughout the week and their girlfriend at other times.
I think that you should talk to him and tell him you are ok with him spending some time with his mates but it is important that he spend time with you too.
If he can't grasp this concept, perhaps it is time to find a boyfriend who understands what being in a relationship is!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006): I think your bf is too immature for a relationship. It's not just that he's selfish...it's just that he really doesn't know any better. Dump him. Go find someone who wants proud to be seen with you and wants to be with you.
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