A
female
age
30-35,
*luvbrian
writes:my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. but i really dont want to. im just scared that it will hurt and the word will get around. im just comfortable with it. he says if we dont he will still love me and go out with me but i hate seeing him so sad cuz i wont. does this mean he wants sex more than love?? and what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Guys have more urges than girls - fact. They think about sex all the time; guys tease other guys about how much sex they've had, and they exaggerate about it to their friends. It's all down to hormones.
He wants sex, probably so he can say he's getting it - or has done it. He'll try any line to get it from you: "If you loved me, you'd do it", "I'm unhappy because you won't have sex with me" etc. He may like you, even love you, and still badger you about it; or that might be all he's after.
There's a line you must learn to say back to him. When he says, "If you loved me, you'd have sex with me", it's your turn to say, "If you loved me, you'd wait."
You can say no. It's your body. And if he breaks up with you because you wouldn't sleep with him, he didn't deserve you.
And you're awfully young to have sex, sweetie. I'm nineteen and a virgin, and I'm going to wait for the right guy to have sex. It's okay for you to do the same. Girls who respect themselves don't get pressured into sex.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Yes it means he wants sex more than love. If he loved you, he wouldn't be trying to guilt-trip you into having sex with him. Don't believe that 'i'm so unhappy because you wont have sex with me line'. He's playing a game to try to get into your pants. Sounds like you have seen through it too ;)
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A
female
reader, Emi:3 +, writes (16 June 2008):
you shouldnt be doing that at yr age. you should wait till yr ready. he wouldnt ask u 2 do that at that age if he really cared 4 u. he should respect yr desicion whatever it mayb
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A
female
reader, Elf.  +, writes (16 June 2008):
he said he will still loveyou if you don have sex . but obviously somwhere alon the line youwill have to g there and have sex with him, just wait untill you are ready.if this wil be your first ever time , it is always rubbish , so hen thats over and dne with , you will be more calm , andenjoy it , and if he loves you and you love him, yu will lear not to be embarassed with him .
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): It could mean that, though i think it depends on how much or eagerly he was/is persisting. Like, if he just mentioned it, it could mean he just does really love you and wants to show it in the most intimate way: making love. However if this is something he's persisting or trying to often talk you into, well I would definitely be suspicious of that.
question/things to think about: how long have you two been going out? hopefully more than a couple years if you're thinking about sex? Personal opinion i think you should wait. You're very young; and let's say you go through with it, and then a couple months later you two break apart? I had a friend who did that, and she regretted so much giving her virginity away like that to a relationship that didn't last...
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