A
female
age
30-35,
*icky2727
writes:I just started dating this guy and i have to say that im a little bit confused. I've never had a real relationship before and this is the first time ive actually wanted to spend time with someone. I love it when he holds me in public and i love having sex with him. I always want to be held by him and its just such a weird feeling because ive never felt this way about any guy before. He says that he misses me and likes being around me. The only thing that bothers me is that i know he just got out of a really serious relationship around a year ago and he has brought up his ex a couple times. He rarely does it but sometimes if he tells a story he might say.. "oh when my ex lived here" or something to that effect. But he spent the night at my place and we were laying in bed together and somehow we got on the topic about his ex and he went off on this whole tangent about her saying how horrible she was but that hes glad its over and that hes happier without her. I kind of think its weird that he still keeps this bottle of tequila she gave him and he said he keeps it around when he wants to make a drink when he has no alcohol left. I don't go around asking him questions about his ex because id rather just not know but i cant reverse what ive already found out just by listening to him talk. I really like what we have going and i know it might be difficult to not bring up someone you used to spend so much time with (they were together for a little over 2 years) so maybe i shouldn't worry about it so much? Is any of this alarming? We're not really quite official yet.... like we dont have the boyfriend girlfriend title but he will refer to me as "the girl hes dating". Should i ask if hes really ready for a relationship with me? Should i just let it naturally progress?
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 Refrain from talk about any past be it exes failed friendships or even if the was enormously fat n got pissed off n spent two years isolating himself to achieve a good body. Focus on the future. Tell him no more didcussion about his ex. If he has issues still surrounding her a reltshp will be doomed with u two. He should have reflected on his past logically n learned from it then move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2012): I agree, I don't think you have anything to worry about here at all.
It sounds to me like you're ready to take the next step, well then maybe it's time you had the talk and made this exclusive.
OP his ex was a big part of his life, he can't exactly discuss those two years without mentioning her. It means nothing, I just think you're at the stage now where you want the security of knowing you're an item. So have a chat with him next time and ask him if he'd like to make it exclusive.
No big deal, just tell you think you're ready to take the next step.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2012): Hon, i really dont think you have anything to worry about. It is natural to bring up your ex without even realising it simply because you spent so much time with them, and of course there will be reminders. Keeping items does not mean they are still in love with that person. Do you have photos of old friends? People you dated but the happy memory is something that is part of your history, does not mean it is a currently on his mind. I would wait until a few months in and have a chat and ask him how he feels about you, what you are to him. If he says you are his girlfriend, make sure he knows you want something serious.
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