A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Going on 11 months- he doesn't show much emotion about us but he's very sweet, generous and affectionate - his love language us physical where mine is verbal. Talk about the future is never brought up by him. The only emotion I see about relationships from him is when he speaks of the pain of his unrequited love from 3 yrs ago. How do I come out and say, "what gives? Show some emotion for our happy times. Talk about our future." I know I can't just come out and say that. Any advice, I'm feeling weird about us. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I think he may be feeling that it is still very early to be talking about the future so strongly. Eleven months is not exactly the a long time although it isn't a short time. Are you sure he wants the future that you are thinking of?
Try talking to him and asking him how he feels about specific things that you are thinking about. Don't just generally say that he needs to show more emotion because it doesn't give him a starting point. Do you ever try to tlk him through this past love he has had? In the end you can't force him and making him feel awkward about it will make it worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): Sounds like the guy has emotional baggage. It's up to you to figure out if you want to stick around for more of that, or if you should move one. There are times when you make it crystal clear (not beating around the bush) of what you want out of the relationship. If he has no interest or doesn't like the same things as you do, then make it clear that you will move one. Sometimes, not all the time though, he will realize he just had something wonderful and will lose it again like he lost it 3 years ago.
You should communicate your emotions with him (probably not all, but something) because then you're gonna be stuck in this whole "he loves me he loves me not."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): I am kind of in a similar situation but he doesn't remember his past ever. But ya I long for better expression and more of 'us' talks. If he is not expressing or getting emotional it doesn't mean he doesnt love you or is not interested. Guys dont express much and they are really okay with it. They dont worry about stuff as much as we do. And as for his past impressions, you would have to help him let go n be in the present..! see it for sometime.. if God forbid things dont improve then its better only for you.. you need to be treasured n not taken for granted..What I do is.. it is an LDR so its tougher.. we talk daily on cam and whenever I have something in my head that is troubling me about him.. I start it off nicely coz cmon.. its HIM..! and he is above all issues.. atleast I should respect how I feel about him.. right?and then instead of pinpointing n fault finding.. I tell him I am feeling like this.. and wana know if I am right.. n let us just look at it rationally.. n I tell him things from a relationship point of view.. I dont include him objectively.. but we discuss stuff neutrally.. and 9/10 times it has been that we ended up laughing smiling feeling good that we had that talk... without a real accusation..nobody likes being questioned... but in love one thing is true that it is like economics.. game of demand and supply...if there is supply without demand.. it runs smooth.. but if demand comes first n then the supply...... it cant run for long... its like pulling each other one by one then.. so be kool for a while.. help him.. else help urself..!best wishes
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