A
female
age
36-40,
*hygirlisshy
writes:I recently met a guy through okcupid.com.We went out three times so far. The first date was good, we had plenty to talk about. The second time, he came over to my place and we ordered in. We made out, but no sex. The third time we went out for dinner to a nice place, made out again but not more.He wanted more, i wanted to wait.Then the next time we were supposed to meet, he wanted to drop some luggage at my place since he was shifting into a new house, it was a Friday night and i kept on waiting for him to come but he called me up at eleven at night and said he'd found someone else's place to drop his stuff at. I was annoyed, told him he could have atleast called and then well, didnt really talk to him after that. The nest morning I called him up to tell him that I didn't want to date him and thAt we should just be friends. He sounded surprised but said he was traveling and would call me once he was back. He never did.Subsequently for one week we barely spoke at all. Then he started sending me jokes or stuff about cats n dogs via text everyday. Just a few days ago he asked me why I ended it and I told him that I thought he was not serious. And I was annoyed about him not showing up. He said he was upset as he had quit his job that day. We chatted a bit more and he admitted that he missed me. He's told me before that he finds it difficult to open up to other people but not with me...he says I'm different from the other girls,Now he's not going to come back for atleast one more month which gives us plenty of space apart.I want to know how can I figure out if he's interested in me for real. Tips? And was i wrong to make out with him too soon? Thank you.
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female
reader, Shygirlisshy +, writes (24 August 2014):
Shygirlisshy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both. You are probably right.
No more of me wasting my time on someone who makes me wonder.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): My dear its so obvious, sorry but his not sincere.
His just after sex. The only reason why he still contact you is because his waiting for the real sex to happen. HIS SURE, he have a chance to get it and thats what he is trying to accomplish.
How to tell if a guy is serious.
#1 he wont have the heart to make you wait.
#2 he will never cancel a date or any agreement with you because he cares about u.
#3 he will never confuse you.
#4 he will be patient.
#5 he will always text and call you.
Everyday.
#6 you wont have to miss him because your almost always together.
#7 he showers you with surprises.
#8 he would do what he says he will.
#9 Consistent. Never MIA/AWOL..
#10 ask you to meet his family.
#11 Making love with you will be a top priority for him.
#12 PDA...
#13 His social media account sez your his gf.
#14 If he lets you meet his friends.
#15. His proud of you.
#16 Compliments you.
#17 Respects you. Never rude.
If he was able to do all of the things mention above...Darling for sure he is into you. I MEAN ALL.. No excuses.
But if you have to make excuses for him then, his not worth it. HIS JUST for the mean time type of bf who will last for 3 to 4 months.. then gone out of nowhere. Save time. Dont waste your kisses with undeserving person.
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (24 August 2014):
 You're under no commitment whatsoever, so I see no problem dating other people, Cerberus is spot on about this guy but only you can make the final call.
I honestly don't see him NOT dating other women over the month he's away, and it's probably good you didn't go all out having sex with him, as you both might be on different pages and want different things.
Just be cautious and make wise decisions for YOU!! Good luck
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A
female
reader, Shygirlisshy +, writes (23 August 2014):
Shygirlisshy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I am wary.
He does know me. We have been texting a lot of late but I guess I'll only come to know once he is back and how he behaves. Any sign of treating me the way I don't want to be treated and I will close the chapter for good.
I have another question. Should I continue meeting other guys? I'm under no obligation I feel to only date him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014): "he says I'm different from the other girls" OP pretty much every guy says that to every girl he dates, it's not a compliment it's a line.
If you ask me he played the 'I find it difficult to open up to people' card too soon aswell, you only met three times and he flaked on the fourth.
OP the guy just says things you want to hear while flaking out of meeting you. If you ask me you're wasting your time.
I mean you say you don't want to see him after being stood up that time and then he sells you a line about missing you, you being different, him quitting his job, finding it hard to open up etc. That's all a load of crap, he hardly knows you to know whether he can open up or whether you're actually different, I'd be surprised if he even knows your middle name. Three times in and he's still a pretty much a stranger. So all that stuff he said is a load of crap.
OP only you can decide whether making out with him was too soon, for it wasn't. Anything after the second date is an okay time to get some proper kisses in my opinion, if there's a connection and it feels right then why not? If it felt right for you then, OP, then don't second guess yourself now.
He's gone for a month now and you're under no obligation to see him again. Whether you want to remain in contact is up to you, if I were you though I'd remain wary. The things he said are so clichéd he may aswell have been quoting a generic romance movie. I mean "you're different from all the other girls" is kind of a running joke it's so cliché, I say it to my wife when taking the piss.
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