A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here it goes: I met a man with whom I worked with. We both started having feelings for each other. He was married. We went to a friend's house one nite after work and kissed... that's it. He goes home that night and tells his wife that he's having feelings for me. They seperate and file for divorce. Him and I continue a great relationship for several months. We split up, I go back to my ex and he gets back with her, all the while we still speak every day. He tells me he wants to be with me. A few months later I leave my fiance and he and his wife split up. There are kids involved this time around he doesn't want her to know about me until the divorce is final. Is he protecting his wallet in fear she will take all he has or does he not want her to find out about us again? PLEASE HELP
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divorce, fiance, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): If she finds out about you and that you're involved again she could jeapordise his chance of gaining custody of his kids so no wonder he's trying to conceal your relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Well well, are you having doubts about this guys ability to be in a committed, honest relationship? The fact that this guy acted on impulse and 'just kissed you' but then admitted he had feelings for another woman to his wife lead me to believe that he would have cheated on her eventually - and that you just happened to be the first person who provided him with the opportunity. The issue is that he has probably NOT dealt with what lead him to 'cheat' (even if it was not sexual) on his wife in the first place, and unless he gains insight into his own character and his motivations for what he did - the chances that somewhere down the track you will be the one he's telling he has feelings for some other woman. Be careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Seems to me that you 2 are lucky that your ex's took you back, unsure about the children who's are they?It does not matter about his wallet because his wife more than likely knows exactly what he has and lets face it they are married so whatever he or she has belongs to both of them.Why do you require her to know about you 2 anyway? It could be that he is being sensible so as to make the divorce go as smoothly as possible even though most divorces are messy (although it would have been more sensible to end his marriage before sleeping with you in the first place). It is bad enough that the other woman is getting a divorce so she does not really need you being shoved in her face so to speak. You are possibly looking into it a little too much.I hope everything goes well for you in the future but please note I am not agreeing with the fact that you had an affair with a married man but understand your need for advice.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 If there are kids involved I think its more about them this time! If he has children then I think he will be protecting them. And I would say its more about his wallet, but even if he doesn't want her to know about you there's no big deal, its none of her buisness who he sees! If I was you I would relax and let him handle things in his own way! X
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