A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am i being used??There is this amazing guy that i work with who is 25 im 21 and i really really really REALLY like him! I have felt this way for a while now! it all came out in work about how i felt about him because i told someone i though i could trust but then found out i couldnt but it actually turned out for the better or so i thought because he told me that he was flattered and that he felt the same way too!! only draw back being that he was not ready for a relationship at this moment in time - i really respected this as he told me from the outset and was not stringing me along i just pushed all my feelings for him to the back of my mind or so i thought!Over the next few weeks he satrted to text me more an more frequently just seeing if i was ok, seeing what i was doing, when i was working and saying how much he enjoyed my company. Then we went on a work night out and after a few drinks we ended up kissing! To which i was obviously over the moon about! however the next day he told me he was sorry and he thought he had took things too far knowing he was not ready for a relationship! i told him it didnt matter and that i was as much to blame for it as him as he had told me he didnt want a relationship but at the end of the day it was only a kiss! so i tried to forget about it but i really cant!over the weeks following the night out he has continued to text me and tries to hug me every time he sees me, sometimes he will make silly comments when infront of others we work with such as soo wer r we goin tomorrow on our day off? you no u luv me babe! or he will brush past me in a really small space n say bet u enjoyed tht!! its really starting to do my head in coz the things he says n does infront of others sort of tell me yeh he does like me - but the fact does these things infront of others tells me he is just putting on a show? he does so these things when there is no one around too but im starting to get the feeling that he could be getting off on the fact he knows he has got something over me - he knows how much i like him and i think he is using it to make himself look good! I know what he his doing infront of others is working as one of my supervisors actually asked me how things wer going between him and me thinking we wer in a relationship! which we are not! i am soo baffled and confused by his behaviour! i know the majority of answers will be telling me that i need to talk to him about how he is making me feel but im not sure i can without breaking down infront of him! and i dnt want to give him the satisfaction if he is messing me about! and i dont want to push him away if something could happen in the future based on what he has said i really do like him for some reason that is beyond me and i would wait my whole life for him to be ready for a relationship! please help me i have never felt the same way about anyone else before!! i have fell for this man hook line and sinker and he knows it!! but how do i tell if he truly means what he says or if he is just playing me for a fool??Female 21 uk!
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female
reader, Carmen Jones  +, writes (19 August 2008):
It sounds like he is not playing you, you are playing yourself because it is so obvious that this mans ego is being fed daily by the way you act and feel about him and he know's this so he is using what you are doing and saying against you. What you should do is back completely off from him and let him begin to miss all of the attention that you were showering him with and then come to you and start feeding your ego. This is a game and rather you know it or not, he is a major player and you don't have the skills to play with him unless you back off and let him come after you. Stop telling him how you feel because he is not reciprocating those feelings, he's just playing with your head.
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (19 August 2008):
 Hi , I am in total agreement with Askoldersister, This man has a large, large ego, and the fact that he learned that you liked him, was just what he needed, to toy with your emotions. He told you he didn't want a relationship, so that he would protect himself from liability, if you began to care more for him than you did. Then it was off to the races, just like in school, when the boys wanted to rack up the score for the number of girls who liked them. He is immature and silly, stop letting him take you for granted, never put yourself in the place where you say, you will wait for him forever, why? What will you get out of it, and how much time are you going to waste in your effort? Think of yourself as more deserving of a better individual, we all have had the occasion, perhaps to fall for the wrong person, so wake up and realize it. He loves to look at himself in the mirror, I'm sure, his world revolves around himself. Take a walk, way away from him emotionally, he means you no good, and he set you up, so he could get away with what he is doing. You are a daliance, good for stroking his ego, men like the chase and unfortunately you told the wrong person and they let him know, so there was no chase, you were alreacy in the trap. Open the door of that trap and fly free, please. Take care and be good to yourself. Stop letting him have control of your emotions. He is not a nice person, no matter what you think of him. A gentleman would not play games, the way he is doing.
Take it easy, lose the shackles of what you think is love,
it is some kind of infatuation, that is baseless, if you could see it more objectively. Please don't waste your time on this man, not worth it.
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