A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Broke up 8yrs ago. I spoke to his secretary on internet and he asked for my number. He calls me to tell me he is getting divorced. He continues calling for the past 3 months. He ask me to go on a date with some friends. He tells me he regrets letting me go, we had such a wonderful relationship,he tells me he told his daughter about me, tells me he like me to meet his daughter. Tells me what a horrible marriage and person he ended up marrying, and is now in a very bad place, says he wants to be alone, doesn't want any women in his life to hassle him. We had a wonderful, wonderful time together with his friends, and then he tells me he'll keep in touch, but has not called again for a week. Told his secretary he loved being with me, but he needs to be alone for now. My question is he playing games with me, or, does he still have feelings for me. His divorce is only 3 months old. Should I call him, or, should I just forget?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I agree, he doesn't know what he wants. It would be a mistake for him to get involved with anyone now; he probably felt lonely as people do when they are getting divorced.
It could be in the long run that you will renew your relationship but if you do, this should be when he is over his marriage.
They say the grass is always greener on the other side and it's possibly what he is doing - and not intentionally - or it could be that he would be better off with you. Time will tell. In the meantime, I would suggest he talks to his male friends about his marriage problems, divorce etc. as you are not a disinterested party.
Try to get on with your life and don't pin your hopes on him. I know it's hard but you don't want to be riding for a fall.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 He sounds majorly confused and doesn't know what he wants.
I think the best thing for now is to offer friendship, but on your terms. Maybe meet for dinner or a drink just to catch up but absolutely don't let him give you the runaround...it's friendship your offering, not a FWB or someone to be played with.
He is declaring he wants to be alone...so give him lots of space to get his head sorted, but keep a hand in and see how it goes. He obviously thinks a lot of you but maybe right now, he just cannot emotionally get all his 'ducks in a row'...
so be a friend.
If after a while you find things arnt getting to where you'd like them to be, i.e moving towards a committed relationship, then it's your choice to move on.
Don't allow yourself to be too emotionally attached as you can seriously get hurt that way. Look at the big picture and be selective about how far you will go to have this guy in your life. Put yourself and your heart first, I am sure he will apreciate you being strong and in the long run, if things don't go your way, you are less likely to fall apart.
Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (10 June 2011):
 I don't think he's playing games with you. 3 mos still very recent. He's probably stress, exahasted w/his ex. Maybe need time to cool off, send him a message, short, sweet, simple..just thought of you and wondering how you're doing? Hope u ok? Kind of message. The last thing he needs is someone pressuiring him, asking too many questions, etc.. I believe the things he said to you, his ex-wife was probably a nitghmare, so he probably realize what a wonderful woman you are.
Maybe 8 years ago was wrong timming? Second changes might even be better! If you're single why not? Its never late to find your partner of life and happiness.
I don't know how long he was married?, but changes are difficult to anybody.. This new relationship is little bit more complicated because he's recently divorced, but just give him time, space when need it, right now he needs to feel peace, tranquility and happy if you give him all that, plus someone he can talk to without being judge, be patience. If you like him, why not? If he's a good guy, its worth waiting a little, right? :-)
Good luck!
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