A
female
age
30-35,
*xxolaur
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been serious for a year and are very in love, but before me four years ago he was dating a girl for two years that he was supposedly very in love with, also who I despise because i for some reason i still feel like he cares about her even though he swears he doesnt. when we first started going out before things were serious, i looked through his cell noticing she was talking to him wanting to hangout. after confronting him about it he claimed that he really didnt want to but he was just curious how she was, and that she was the one initiating hanging out. I got really mad at him and he admitted he was wrong and said he would never do it again. she tried contacting him again offering to give him concert tickets, which by the way he told me about, and obviously refused, which to my knowledge was the last time they talked. recently a couple days ago when I was looking for something in his nightstand by his bed and noticed many letters from his ex which made me furious. he claimed that at one point before we were going out they meant something to him then but not now because he loves me. he said he just never got around to throwing them out(which i SOMEWHAT believe because he has so much junk around). sometimes i get the feeling he does still like her because of little things like he says what a bitch she was which makes me feel like hes not over her in combination with him considering hanging out with her and finding the letters(which also were in a drawer he uses alot so how did he not remember them being there??) on the other hand he tells me that he loves me more then he loved her and that i mean more to him then she ever did. he seems pretty honest but im still confused if maybe hes just saying that or if he means it. sometimes i feel like its just all in my head. i need answers please!! the thoughts of her possibly still being in his head are eating away at me and i just want to know he only loves me or he still may not be over her. HELP!
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female
reader, DOG +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Sounds like he may still have emotional attachments to his Ex but in the real world if he wanted to be with her he still would be with her. He decided to move on and now he's with you. Sounds like you may have a little jealousy in you. An Ex used to tell me that jealousy was mistrust. So id you can't trust that person there will be insecure feelings. So you best bet is, seeing that your so young yet, is to accept it or move on. Don't worry about people from his past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to his future.
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