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Is he or is he not interested in me?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2013)
A female South Africa age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi all,

I have written on here before and I got really good advice from you all. Very good.

I have met someone who I've seen around for more than a year now but have only spoken twice before he found me on Facebook and started chatting. He asked me out for supper and a movie which turned into an 8 hour 'date' I think it was!

We had an amazing time. We still chat daily but he has not asked me out again.

He lives in the next town to me which is not far at all, but he seems to have pulled back a little in the fact that he has not even attempted another coffee etc.

Must I take it that he is not interested? Although we talk daily?

I am so confused!

thanks

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (19 November 2013):

llifton agony aunthe definitely likes you :-) just keep playing it cool to be patient. He's just taking it slow. Which if you ask me is a good thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello again!

The man finally asked me out again! After seeing me again and sitting chatting...

Not sure if this is a date, but it must be something to that effect. He definitely wants to get to know me better.

We chat constantly on the phone but this will be face to face again which is necessary too.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (16 November 2013):

llifton agony auntit sounds like he's got to be interested. maybe he's just trying to play it cool and not seem too needy and overbearing. some men have learned this over time. they know that coming across too needy is a sure way to push a woman away. and then they just wind up pushing them away on the opposite end of the spectrum by seeming not interested! lol. i would keep chatting with him. give him some time to muster up the courage to ask you out again.

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (16 November 2013):

Why don't you ask him out?

Tell him what you just told us. You really like him. You want to spend more time together.

Just go for it!

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (16 November 2013):

Atsweet1 agony auntIn review if your post it appears based off the information is that he is unaware that you are interested. I know alot of times a guy will read vibes and sum up she may not be that into me. He is shy so he may never make another move unless you send a serious hint that your wanting to date and go further. I know alot of people are this way unless he is involved with someone else at the time. I would just find out what's up with him and you hanging out again. It's not putting to much pressure on you or him if you go to him and ask him hiw are things and invite him out with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OP posting: The date was about 3 weeks ago!

We had such a good time and what was supposed to be 3 hours maybe longest turned into him not wanting to go home. We spend hours at coffee and walking around.

It was the best time I've ever had with a male person on a I think date!

Men are so confusing with their mixed signals. He said he was so nervous when he spoke to me the first time and asking me out was a huge thing for him.

He said beautiful women can be intimidating! I took that as a huge compliment.

So to go from so over the top to nothing is very odd. He is not so busy on weekends that he couldn't see me. We chat all weekend long.

Thanks for the feedback :)

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (16 November 2013):

llifton agony aunthow long ago was the date? if it was within the last week or two, i would say just relax and take it one day a time. however, if it's been over a few weeks to a month, i would proably assume this means he wasn't interested in being more than friends after the date. however, nothing is certain.

you could simply ask him out. ask him if he would care for coffee or another dinner out. see what he says. or hint at when you two will be seeing each other again. after all, maybe he's just been busy.

good luck.

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A female reader, Rachael99 United States +, writes (15 November 2013):

Maybe after spending so much time with you he thought about it and realized he might be leading you on when he isn't really sure where he wants to go with it. so he's backing off. Maybe you can drop a hint like, "Hey, I had a really nice time last time we hang out, love to do it again some time"

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