A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am facing a major dilemma. I am a gay male, but that shouldn't really matter as that has nothing to do with it. I can use the opinion and advice of anyone. So around August, I met this wonderful man on a social internet site (not facebook.) We both seemed to share many things in common. And we would talk so much and make so many jokes. So I outed myself to him, and naturally he outed himself to me. It's not a dating site, more like a site where people meet friends. And so for a while--we would message a lot, and he told me he thought I was very different from gay men he's met and he related a lot to me. Around the last week of September, he ignored me for a week. However, thanks to a feature on the site, it guided me that a gentleman from his same city viewed my profile from the same town this guy resides in. Now, I tried to bring relationships up, I had only had one and when I tried to get information...He just told me he was about as inexperienced as I and that he never kisses and tells. This left me with doubt, so I went back to visit the gentleman's profile that had viewed my profile and noticed they both shared lots in common; including the same date of registering on the site. Coincidence much? Shortly after, he apologized for not writing to me for that week and asked me for my phone number. I was reluctant to give it to him, but I still did. Now we are building this relationship, and at times it seems likes me. However, over the last month--I have noticed he is always spending time with his flatmate. He's never told me who his flatmate is, however--I am not stupid. And I have finally deduced that the man that viewed my profile is indeed his flatmate, because over the weekend he told me he was going to France with his flatmate until Wednesday and that he would miss me since he couldn't take his phone. Now I have gone back to the site, and they both show as the last day they logged on was the day he told me he was leaving. It seems stalkerish--but over the last two months, I was really starting to think there was more than just friendship. The only reason why I have opted to investigate this much is that I hate being lied to--and if he hasn't been honest with me...I don't mind that he's in a relationship, I mind that as a friend he hid the truth. And I cannot really trust someone as a friend if they are shady.So based on my information provided do you guys believe that his getaway with his flatmate (on Valentines) to France is a date. Are they more than just friends? Why has he not really told me much about him? Where do I go from here?Sorry, I am just so distraught over this. And I am all over the place. I feel so humiliated, because I feel like a complete fool. Especially after flirting back with him.
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male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (14 February 2012):
Hey, sorry to hear that you've got some feelings for this guy. The problem with internet relationships is you don't have the luxury of reading the persons facial expressions, tone of voice etc so its all a bit one sided if you like. Ok, he might have a boyfriend he hasn't told you or he might have two accounts (Some people are a bit like that). The best thing is really to go with your gut but I would say focus more on relationships with people you meet out and about rather than the internet. Trust me, i've been there enough times!
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