A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:J and I were friends for 2-3 years. He was moving out of town so we met up, and had a fantastic 13hrs together, unexpectedly. Unfortunately he had a gf and I had a bf and he was moving away. Soon after that I broke up with my bf, and though he was still together with his gf, they were having a lot of problems and his gf could not move with him to the new place. Not denying anything as he is still together with the girl, but we still met up a few times before he flew and cheated on his girlfriend....It was wrong and after he left we both tried to just stay friends. I thought after he left we would both move on with our lives.....but we've been msging each other everyday. He invites me to visit him. And on valentine's day he wished me at 6am his time.I think he does feel something for me, but I know he still has a girlfriend and we have long distance. Even if he's single, we still have obstacles.However I can't help thinking about him. I've told him before that I like him. I think he is confused, either that or stringing me along. Or maybe he is just bored and msgs someone thousands of miles away to keep me interestedWhat do you make of this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni guess he does like me...in a way......but he's not going to break up with his gf to be with me...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2013): I think he likes you or else, why would he text message to you from a long distance?...maybe he is trying to break up with his g/f but didn't know how to..but he must have had some feelings for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2013):
Sometimes feelings have a way of getting us confused and doing things, that perhaps with a level head we would not. You have known j for a long time I would suspect that fundamentally you have always secretly hankered (maybe so has he) for something more.
You know what you did was wrong I clearly get that from your post, I suspects emotions got in the way and you hope this would make him make a decision regarding his own feelings. Which it hasn't as he would have broken of the relationship with his gf and after a while picked someone up with you and sweetie he hasn't.
No one can say he's truly using you, as we do not know him. But I agree with the other aunts this is going nowhere soon. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder .
So my plan of attack would be thus. Send him a text, tell him your confused over how you feel for him . You want to be a good friend but maybe what happened between you both had confused this and you hanker for something more. Him texting daily doesn't help as it confuses you more. You would like something more but understand he is not a position to give that too you, if his circumstances should change and if you are available then you tell him you would like to take this further, but until then your going to have to take a back seat and stop all communication with him and wish him the best as this I'd just a tad to hard.
Then you make sure you have enough friends and family around enough hobbies to take your mind of him and you do not get in touch. The ball is in his court and he has to make the next move. If he misses you he will get in contact and will have done the decent thing.
Now, the cheating part. Cheating is never good. Other than the hurt emotions on both your partners . You give the impression that you are easy, so why should anyone take you seriously ? See sweetie you leave yourself in bad light. Not that his hands are clean but if you want to be with him then giving him the green light that hey this is cool and from what I've read I don't think your like that at all.
I don't think you meant to cause hurt or anything . Next time think if this was your bf how would you feel before doing anything.
Take care sweetie and I would distance myself and see what happens . Keep us posted. X
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 I think he is keeping you on the back burner. Just in case.
Saying " I and my gf, or wife, etc. - are having problems " is a cunning way to tell a lie even when telling the truth.
Because most couples have problem at some point, and , if they don't break up- it means that the problems are manageable, or that anyway the pros are mor than the cons, even with the problems. So one can tell the truth " we are having problems " somehow implying... "and we are terribly unhappy, ..and we are breaking up any minute..." while often this is not the case.
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