A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over half a year. I was the first to say I love you, but he took a little more time to say it back to me. Like 2 months more time after I said it. His past history with relationships really isn't great at all. He used to cheat, and I have been told this before by both him and my friends. But like every guy who has a cheating past has probably told numerous girls before, he said he's changed because he realized he doesn't like doing that to girls anymore and it's too much work to play around. He sounds really sincere whenever he told me and I'm the second girlfriend he's given keys to his home and a claddagh ring to. The girlfriend who was given these items to before was with him for 3 years. Last Thursday he gone out with some coworkers, one of them I knew because it was his bestfriend's ex. The other three I didn't know at all. But here is the story I got from her. Thursday night he went over to her house because she was having a little party with beer pong and friends, so he went over there because I had to work the night shift. They weren't going out that night but I guess he had convinced them because he wanted to go dancing and drink. So they went out to a local bar and danced, and according to her, he was literally forcing her to dance with him and wouldn't let her leave and he was being really aggressive. Now this girl doesn't really have that great of a record for telling the truth either and is known to over-exaggerate things and cause drama. So I'm not even sure if the dancing part really happened.What brought this up, is what my real concern is; I read his texts to her and her friend. The text to her said: You guys should of stayed, I made some bad but good choices. I hooked up with a chick outside in the rain at the side of Hot Shots last night. I couldn't help it, she was kinda cute and had a nice ass.The text to her friend said: Where'd you guys go? I have a clinger, guess she must have liked the way I tasted.Of course I regret snooping around in his private life, but for someone who has a past like his and is known for cheating, can you really blame me...? I confronted him and admitted I looked at his phone. He didn't even get mad at me for doing it. I was upset, and started packing up my things. He told me that he didn't really do those things and that they left him at the bar by himself. The only reason why he said those things to them was because he wanted to know if he could trust them or not. It had to be something so ridiculous to see if they would blurt it out to me. And he wanted to know if he could trust them or not because it would be nice to have a female friend he could trust and tell things to, because he already has a male friend who he could trust and tell things to. But obviously, he can't trust her because she had spilled everything to me when I asked her what happened. That shit I could care less about because I know she is a drama queen. What I care more about is whether or not he really did cheat on me. But no one else can tell me the story but my boyfriend because everyone left him.He sounds sincere when he says he didn't do it. But it is just too far-fetched to believe. Why would you tell someone those things just to see if you could trust them? All of his friends tell me that I'm too good for him and that he doesn't know how good he has it with me. They don't seem to believe his story.. I don't believe his story, but I want to so bad because I love him. And if he really did do it, I think I'm willing to look past it even though I can't forget and forgive him for doing it. But I'm not even sure if he really did cheat on me or not. He's told me that he really loves me and it would be unfortunate if I didn't believe him, and left him forever. The thing is, it didn't seem like he put much effort into convincing me to stay, and he says it's because there is nothing he can do to make me believe he didn't do anything.In the end, I know it is all up to me.. I decided to stay with him, for now... I told him that I didn't believe him and will not forgive him if he really did cheat on me, but that I love him. And even so... if he really did cheat on me, who is to say that he won't do it again seeing as how I decided to stay with him? I guess what I'm looking for is some input on what you think. Preferably coming from a male point of view, or a male-cheater (past or present) point of view would be even better. Ladies, your input would be appreciated too. Thanks...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): He said it would be "unfortunate" if you left? Wow he sounds real cut up about it(!) Seriously, i think we both know that you know deep down he's lying through his teeth. Do not waste your time with this guy.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (6 October 2010):
 It doesn't matter how sincere he sounds, the important thing to keep in mind are his actions and how ridiculous his story is. He's clearly lying, and even if he didn't sleep with another girl that night, it definitely shows the intent to at some point. Don't let 'I love him' be your only reason for staying, you'll drive yourself crazy wondering where he is and what (or who) he's doing when you're not around. By staying in the relationship you're showing him he can feed you lines and bullshit without any real consequences, because he obviously could care less if you believe him or not.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 That is an outrageously far fetched concoction that screams "Bullshit ! Bullshit ! " to high heavens. And you know it very well, deep down. You just don't want to know that you know it.
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