A
female
age
36-40,
*adaergd
writes:So the scenario is: I've only ever had two relationships and I am 21. One was four years, the other was a year. I've only had two sex partners before this guy. I like this guy from work. He's nerdy and dorky like me, but much more experienced than I am at dating and WELL. Sex.. And he is well aware of this. Lolol.So, we went on three dates before I just started going over to his house and staying the night. Nothing sexual happened until.. the third time I stayed the night we had sex. I came over two nights after and we didn't have sex and again another time and we did it that time and that is where I am now. We've never really talked about our feelings for each other but.. well. I don't know how to tell and I don't want to rush it. I like going slow. I'm in no hurry to have babies or get married or even commit again. We've been talking since about.. Mid December? On one of our dates we drove four hours to an aquarium in Cincy, Ohio. All because I said in December that I wanted to go to an aquarium really bad. He's a good cook, very smart, charming, nerdy like me, and JUST.. Nice. But I am afraid that this is going to be a "sex buddy" thing. I don't know how those start but I don't want it to. We've only had sex twice. But.. you've got to start somewhere? We aren't dating. We're talking. And I don't have any reason to believe he's doing it with other people. I just don't know how to date or "talk" since my two boyfriends before it was way different with. I talked to a mutual friend of ours who is very close to him and he said that the guy goes really, really slow; doesn't rush into relationships. I've read in a book that you should never date someone after just a month of happiness.. but 3-6 months. This whole situation is just very frightening for me and I'd really like advice. Thank you so much! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (27 January 2010):
 It might me best if you get the courage to have a mature conversation with him. Such as: Hey, I really like you and want to get to know you a lot more. Even though I find it hard to resist you sexually, I would feel better if we kept a physical relationship on hold for the time being so I can concentrate on building a solid friendship with you. I just don't want sex to ruin it for us. Or just word it in a way that isn't saying "lets just be friends" or hurt his feelings in any way. You're not putting him off, just pushing it back a little. Actually, if he read the original question you posted, it would say a lot and not in an offensive or negative way.
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