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Is he just stuck in the past, or could we have something good together?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

Hi guys,

Some advice please girls and boys!!

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months now after meeting him in the pub where I work. He went out with someone for 13 years before this and there was only a 2 month gap between her breaking up with her and getting together with me. We saw each other almost every day at first. I am in love with him and have told him that on a few occasions and he always responds "no you don't" and tells me "how can u love me after just 6 months etc." He has never told me he loves me but does do things that show he cares.

There are a few things that make me doubt this relationship, in particularly his mum doesnt even know about me and I have met none of his family as they were all good friends with his ex. This week his ex has announced she is getting married after just 8 months of knowing someone which has kind of shocked him. I cant help thinking he is still hung up on her as he still wants to be friends etc. and I sometimes feel like a replacement. He is also a bit of a flirt although he denies this.

My sense is he is insecure and doesn't want to be hurt again but the bottom line is I need to know that he loves me and wants to be with me. At times he really seems to care and other times he seems really distant. Should I just give him more time to move on? I am being impatient? I just feel he is stuck in the past and can't move on but I feel we could have something really good.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks

View related questions: move on, flirt, his ex, insecure, move on

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A reader, Adam Brandie, writes (24 February 2005):

hey I'd like to tell you something first. I'm only a 17 year old guy from Jersey, channel islands but I've learnt something from my age. Love is a one off thing. If you really think you're in love with this guy you should try your hardest. My ex girlfriend didn't believe I loved her through our 8 month relationship, but I loved her after 1 month.

I really can't begin to understand women fully, but basically I dumped my ex because I could see our future and I was scared. Please miss ? dont give up on yet I would bet he is afraid an doesn't know what to do. Give him a chance.

Hey, what have you got to lose? You've found your love, I've lost them. Go for it.

your sincerly

Adam Brandie

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